Friday, March 24, 2006

Transrodental Meditations - MSM Edition

Greetings, fellow travellers on the path to enlightenment! It is I, your Swami of Seeds, Jacob the Syrian Hamster to lead you in the first of a series of Transrodental Meditations.

First, let me instruct you on the basics. In order to achieve Higher Consciousness, you need

Simplicity of Thought,

Purity of Heart and

Buckets of Sunflower Seeds.

Find a quiet place and assume a comfortable position. Clear your mind of active thought and fill your cheeks with pecan pieces. Once you have done this and the winds of clarity have blown the clouds of confusion from your mind, let us contemplate the following mystery:

What's the sound of one MSM reporter confronting people familiar with the subject?


That's not a mystery, Jacob. Laura Ingraham took David Gregory out behind the studio and strangled him with his own microphone cord. She was then joined by a host of others who had first-hand experience. It wasn't pretty.

You bet. It sounded like this. "Iraq Has turned into a nightmare for CENTCOM, a place where there is no rest from ever-increasing violence and despair. A place where American hopes have been dashed on the rocks of reality and insurgents have GOWWWRRRRRKKKK!"

What do you mean it wasn't pretty? That looks like a Renoir to me!
Hmmm. I think you're right. Rock on!

Indeed, fellow truth-seekers. Rock on.


Justin said...


Neurotic Mom said...

You have a great imagination for the way you post, it's great!!

Jake Silver said...

Very very interesting. Ebert and Roeper should read this blog to get some ideas.