Thursday, March 23, 2006

Instapundit Visits Grandma

The Alliance! The mere mention of that name sends shock waves through the blogosphere. Like the Oracle at Delphi, its inscrutable utterances are ours to interpret and act upon.

It has spoken!

We scramble about, striving to fulfill its every whim. About Instapundit's family event it asks , “Why did Evil Glenn have so much fun hanging out with his grandmother?”

Our parents and grandparents are inestimable treasures. Filled with insight and years of experience, they can spin yarns and impart wry wisdom all the livelong day. For Glenn, this visit was a chance to engage in a deep, meaningful discussion with grandma wherein he bared his soul to her and told her his most profound thoughts. Through total serendipity, The Scratching Post had a recording device hidden in her house and managed to capture the whole affair. It went something like this.

It went exactly like this, except for the mistakes. (That one’s for you, Peter.)

Grandma: Glenn, I’ve been reading your blog and I’ve got to tell you, I’m impressed. You seem to be so popular with the other bloggers! You must be so well read. I’ve been trying to make sense of this immigration debate. What do you think?

Glenn: Heh.

Grandma: Have you read anything about it?

Glenn: Indeed.

Grandma: Well? Do you favor an immigration policy wherein employers pay for the right to hire migrant workers from another country on a temporary basis?

Glenn: a href=””

Grandma: What on Earth does that mean?

Glenn: Heh?

Grandma: Can you speak English?

Glenn: Indeed.

Grandma: Well, then what do you think of the immigration debate?

Glenn: a href=””

Grandma: Glenn, this is downright disrespectful. I asked you a direct question and you just spout gibberish.

Glenn: Heh.

Grandma: You don’t know a darn thing, do you?

Glenn: Indeed.

Grandma: Well this is a total ^&*@(^#( waste of time, I can’t believe I’m sitting here talking to this @^&*( moron. FESTUS! BRING ME MY BOURBON! I need a drink after trying to make sense of this @#&*() grandson, just sitting there repeating the same words over and over. I tell you, in my day we showed respect for mutter mutter mutter….

Take that, Justin!


Justin said...

Aight, I admit it, you kicked the crud outta mine. Next week will be different though!!!

Basil said...

Now THAT'S comedy!