Saturday, March 22, 2008

Rejoice! Christ is Home Eating Peeps for Easter

...and has not, in fact, risen from the grave following His crucifixion. At least for preschoolers. Yes, a certain publisher of preschool materials has decided that Easter is just too graphic for kids.
The people who produce the Sunday School curriculum we use for our 1-5 year olds decided to not give the Easter story on Easter Sunday. Actually, they decided not to give the Easter story at all to this age group. Here is their reason, “because of the graphic nature of the Easter story and the crucifixion specifically, we need to be careful as we choose what we tell our preschoolers about Easter.” Further they say, “We have made this choice because the crucifixion is simply too violent for preschoolers.” They go on to justify their reason for this by suggesting that theories of cognitive development show that preschoolers are concrete thinkers and therefore “are simply unable to truly grasp what it means to die and then be raised again through the power of God.” So on Easter Sunday, the preschoolers at nearly 1400 churches will not hear the Easter story.
I guess Jesus changed his mind and summoned those twelve legions of angels.
Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him. With that, one of Jesus' companions reached for his sword, drew it out and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.

"Put your sword back in its place," Jesus said to him, "for all who draw the sword will die by the sword. Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?"

And so the pharisees were blown into tiny bits.

After that, everyone went home and had Peeps.

Everything's groovy!


Dean said...

Guess that rules out a good portion of the Old Testament, also.

You expect this sort of nonsense from the public education bureaucracy but its doubly discouraging when the very people who are supposed to be minding the store are the very ones who are opening up the gates to the Barbarians... I mean, people who would not do very nice things to other people. Meanies.

Wollf Howlsatmoon said...

I'm really an Old Testament kinda Four Legger, I guess.....We have Ten Commandments.....we oughta pay attention to 'em.

The Christian "short cut" is fine by me, but pay your dues to the Rules......

I do like the "Legions of Angels" tanks though......Happy Easter to you.