Preface: I'm retired from my career, come back as a contractor-consultant. My contract expires in 11 days and the customer is desperate to renew it ASAP. We're in the middle of rolling out an important product where I've been the chief engineer, designer and developer.
On with the show.
To say I'm looking forward to my upcoming, semi-voluntary vacation would be an understatement. Emotionally, it will be a watershed moment. The vacation will be a solo trip to Arkansas, Mississippi and Alabama, dubbed Dixie 2021. As far as I'm concerned, it could be used to date things. There would be BD21 and AD21 - Before Dixie and After Dixie. It's going to be epic.
I have this huge fear that in the couple of months I'll be gone, waiting for a new contract, the team will discover they don't need me back.
Is it rational? Who knows? We'll find out. It's certainly not rational from a selfish point of view. I've run the numbers and there's no longer any financial need for me to work. If they called me and said, "We love you, KT, but feel free to stay retired," I could move on to culinary school, sailing, metalworking, art, photography, diving and being an annoying crusader for married families. I've 120 hours a week planned after retirement.
But what if they don't want me to come back? I'd be crushed. We can be such fragile creatures, no?
I can't bear the thought. When the project is fully fielded and stable, I want to go out, surrounded by coworkers weeping the bitter tears of despair. I shall idly straighten my cravat, brush a speck of dust from the irreproachable Mechlin lace at my wrists and say encouraging things with a whimsical, insouciant air.
Yep. That's the way to do it, not run out of the office like an unwanted cur.