Tuesday, December 03, 2019

All Rise

... and ...

Well, you'll see.

Chesa Boudin, the new San Francisco DA, has said that his office will no longer prosecute "quality-of-life" crimes such as relieving yourself in public. He has effectively decriminalized laying waste, as it were, to the sidewalks and other parts of the city. After all, why should the less fortunate, victims of an unjust system that they are, be punished for the same bodily needs we all share?

Wait, who are the less fortunate? Who are the victims of the unjust system? I would bet that each one of us, if we tried hard, could shoehorn ourselves into those categories without too much trouble. After all, how many people don't have some disadvantage they've had to overcome?

That means that when we visit SanFran or if we are dimwitted enough to live in that benighted metro, we should do like the natives do and ...

Well, you'll see.

Imagine how this might work. Let's say you're at a hearing and the judge walks into the room. The bailiff, or whatever that person is called, says, "All rise!"

He then adds a hearty, "... unzip and let 'er* rip!" And then, from across the room, almost in unison, you hear, "Zzzzzzooop! wssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss" followed by a loud cheer from everyone. Hooray! We're all ... all ... all ...

... err ...

We're all swine.

Don't judge.

What's, um, sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander, no?
* - As "'er" is a contraction for "her," the bailiff, or whatever that person is called, is later prosecuted for hate crimes against the differently gendered.

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