From the Mailbag: Supreme Leader vs. Maximum Leader

Sometimes we get email queries from people who are curious about the Feline Theocracy and want to know more, people who ask for autographed photos of our Maximum Leader or Jacob, people who want to sell us Viagra, Swiss watches or enlarge our organs (which ones?) and people who were married to the finance minister of Nigeria and he just got caught in a threshing machine and all his money is just collecting dust around the house and gosh wouldn't it be nice for us to have some of it.

Where was I?

Oh yes, the mailbag. Anyway, we recently received this letter.

"Dear K T Cat,

We hear on the radio about Ali Khameini, the Supreme Leader of Iran. We know that you are the Maximum Leader of the Feline Theocracy. What's the difference between a Supreme Leader and a Maximum Leader?

Edward Neephus
Billings, Montana"

Well, Mr. Neephus, the two are fairly easy to tell apart. One makes messes on the carpet, claws your drapes, throws up on the floor and brings dead things into your house hoping for a treat. The other is a cat.

It's a subtle difference, but we think that from these photos you'll be able to tell them apart.


Here, Supreme Leader Khameini is appearing on public access TV late at night to warn us about the dangers posed by silverfish. Or something like that.


K T Cat, our Maximum Leader, quietly shares her beauty with us all.

You can tell a lot about a person by the friends they keep.


Many of the Supreme Leader's friends have suffered terrible burns on their faces from accidents freebasing cocaine and have to wear masks.


Our Maximum Leader's friends are gorgeous creatures with their own blogs.

Their karaoke style is quite different, too.


Supreme Leader Khameini needs the lyrics written on a piece of paper. Here, he's performing some ghastly Peter, Paul and Mary protest song without any feeling at all.


Here, our Maximum Leader belts out The Girl I Knew Somewhere by heart. The crowd is rockin' out off camera.

The most notable difference, Mr. Neephus, between a Supreme Leader and a Maximum Leader is best defined by Taco Bell. A Supreme Leader is a leader covered in sour cream and guacamole. Just try doing that to a Maximum Leader.