With this in mind, I need an excuse. I need a bunch of excuses. I even need an excuse for Zeus, who is waiting a special reward I've promised as well. So for Zeus and Southern Girl and anyone else I owe a blog post to, here's this week's Thursday 13.
13 Reasons I Haven't Written That Blog Post Yet
1. I'm tired.
2. I'm cranky.
3. I'm tired and cranky.
4. I'm tired, cranky and am too busy playing Age of Empires on the computer.
5. I am suffering from such severe halitosis that the vapor coming out of my mouth is obscuring the keyboard and monitor. I think the mouse just melted.
6. A Madonna song came on the radio. Since my arms were full at the time, I couldn't get to the off switch and suffered through the whole thing. Overcome by nausea, I spent an hour lying down on my bed with a cool, wet washcloth on my forehead.
7. I let Jacob the Syrian Hamster loose to run around his room and he hid behind the filing cabinet again. It took half an hour, four dozen sunflower seeds and a small vacuum cleaner to extract him.
8. Someone switched my coffee to decaf.
9. I'm currently blogging from my handheld because I'm in jail after threatening to kill the person who switched my coffee to decaf.
10. My daughter left one of her beanie babies on my computer chair and I didn't notice it before I sat down. It was "Stabby the Unicorn." I'm sitting in the proctologist's waiting room right now. Don't ask.
11. After joining Cindy Sheehan's Liquid Fast for Peace, I discovered that Pork Frappe is a liquid. With the proper application of BBQ sauce and hickory smoking, it's also quite delicious particularly when followed with a milkshake chaser. I've gained 536 pounds and can no longer fit through the door of my computer room.
12. In an effort to find more time for blogging, I invented a time travel device. Unfortunately, I can't seem to put the thing in reverse and all I've managed to do is lose 53 hours 16 minutes of my life.
And the final excuse for not blogging is...
13. Our Maximum Leader, K T Cat herself, was on the computer the whole time.
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