I'm saddened to report that last night, a gang of criminals broke into my house while I slept and cooked an elaborate meal for what looks like a dozen people. They then left without cleaning up. I came downstairs to the wreckage this morning.
Words fail me. I'm disgusted that the authorities would allow a band of rogue chefs to wander unchecked, breaking into homes, cooking and leaving behind ruins like this.
What's this world coming to when an innocent householder is afraid for the cleanliness of his kitchen?