Questions CNN Should Ask

We've been using CNN pretty boy Anderson Cooper as a piñata lately, but this time let's offer him some suggestions.

Here is a Google Earth photo of Kansas farmland from 10,000 feet.


Here is a similar one of southern Lebanese farmland from 10,000 feet. Look at the size of the cultivated plots relative to those in the Kansas photo. The size of such plots is relative to the amount of land that can be managed by a single farm using whatever tools it has bought.


Since all purchases are consequences of decisions and those decisions could have gone in other directions, let's ask the friendly Hezbollah people to describe their thought process. That makes sense, doesn't it? After all, isn't that what Mr. Cooper's blog is trying to do? He flits back and forth across the border showing us how they live and getting inside of their heads to show us what it is like to be them, doesn't he?

Here's my list of questions.

1. What's the per acre yield of your farmland? As a comparison, give the per acre yield in Kansas.

2. What kind of mechanical tools and fertilizers are you using? As a comparison, show what the state-of-the-art American farm uses.

3. How much money has been spent buying Katyusha rockets and other weapons in the last eight years? As a comparison, show per capita weapons purchases in Kansas over the same period of time.

4. Compute the return on investment assuming that the difference between the two investments in weapons had been spent on farm equipment instead and the resulting improvements in per acre yield. Account for compounded investments and returns. Show this to the Hezbollah representative along with the following photographs.


AP Photo from the Jerusalem Post.
Question: In retrospect, what would you say about your investment choices?

5. Since all moral viewpoints are equivalent and everyone on Earth is the same, the responsibility for an American to respond to, say, the tsunami in Banda Aceh, is no different than the responsibility of a Lebanese farmer to respond. Question: How did you, Mr. Hezbollah Representative, contribute to the relief efforts in Indonesia? As a reference point, here's what Mr. Kansas Farmer contributed through tax dollars and his children joining the U. S. Navy.


Ahangama, Sri Lanka (Jan. 16, 2005) - Steelworker Constructionman Nikolas Matthews, assigned to Naval Mobile Construction Battalion Seven (NMCB-7), Air Detachment, stacks roof tiles that were removed from damaged buildings at a primary school in Ahangama, Sri Lanka. The Seabees cleared the debris as part of the humanitarian relief efforts of Operation Unified Assistance, the humanitarian relief effort to aid the victims of the tsunami that struck Southeast Asia. U.S. Navy photo by Photographer’s Mate Greg Bingaman

6. A final question for Mr. Hezbollah: What are your future investment plans?

Anyone want to bet that our beloved little CNN team will never ask these?

Update: Our Vicar of Victory has this outstanding post on the kind of moral equivalency beloved by CNN.

Captain's Quarters has a post that suggests Hezbollah might be applying for their equivalent of Chapter 11 bankruptcy. I would suggest that their CEO (thanks, Colossus) should step down.

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