- Be nicer to people of other races.
- Not a whole lot nicer, just a little nicer.
- Don't talk about race.
The other day, there was a young, black man outside of the hardware store asking for donations for DARE, a well-known anti-drug charity. Is it still legit? Beats me. When he went into his spiel, I dismissed him with a wave of my hand. "No, I'm good." He stopped and I kept walking towards the grocery store. Then I thought about what a jerk I had been. The kid was working a tough job, cold sales in a parking lot.
I went to the grocery store and got some cash back. I also got a cold bottle of water. I walked back to the kid and said with a grin, "How about $40 and a bottle of water?" That made him really happy and we talked about selling things and other odds and ends. I told him that I understood he had a tough job and as an old salesman how his energy impressed me.
I wasn't lying, patronizing or making a big freaking deal out of skin.
Yesterday, I was in line at the grocery store getting some pork chops, buttermilk, mushrooms and a bomber of craft beer. The young man in front of me was in his Navy uniform and as black as the ace of spades. I asked if I could pay for his groceries. They weren't much. Whenever I do this, I make sure it's not a massive cart load as that would be over the top. He wanted to turn me down, but I wouldn't hear of it.
"My father was a West Point grad," I said. "He always felt pity for guys in the Navy." We both laughed and I paid for the kid's food. It wasn't a big deal, I don't even remember what the total was. We chatted about this and that and he went on his way.
Also yesterday, at work, a black man did this same trick for me. He clearly went out of his way to praise what I had done and make conversation with me. We soon found common interests and were laughing together by the time the meeting was over. It felt great, not because of race, but because he was showing genuine affection and that's always a good thing.
Critical Race Theory and all the people going on about racism have it all wrong. Racial animosity will be overcome by individual acts of love, not some big "Difficult Conversation" about melanin. The ones advocating that never mean it as a conversation. In their minds, no white person would ever bring up families, crime and lousy study habits. Instead, we're expected to sit there and listen to whining.
Well, forget that. Let's have a party instead. Let's give and laugh and smile and chat about fun things. I think Mike said it best.
7 comments:
Yeah, that about sums it up. If we could all just be nice to one another to the maximum extent possible, a lot of issues would just kind of go away.
Which raises the question, is that what you are actually accomplishing with your on-line writings?
This is astoundingly naive.
The solution to black people getting 50-75% of the price for a house compared to a white person? Be nice. Yes, I mean the exact same house, where the white person who pretends to be an owner gets substantially higher assessments and offers.
The solution to differential policing, suspensions, prison terms, parole, hiring? Be nice.
The solution to multigenerational wealth inequality generated by federal red-lining? Be nice.
I could go on for a while. I'm not arguing against being nice, just pointing out it won't solve very much.
In my view, "Being Nice" includes treating people fairly in interactions with police, prison sentences, hiring, pay, access to housing, etc.
If everyone would be nice, then not only would that go away, we would then barely even need police, or courts, or even most of the regulatory structure of the government.
The problem is that there are enough people who won't be nice, that measures have to be taken to keep them from messing things up for everyone. And while those measures are ideally not as bad as just letting the worst people run rampant, they are still generally unpleasant for the population as a whole.
tim eisele,
Are you under the impression that people who undervalue the home think they are not being nice, or that they are being racist? Almost none of them do. They'll all tell you they are giving a fair value for the home, and most don't even realize what they are doing.
Do you think that police, prosecutors, etc., understand themselves to be treating defendants differently based on race? Almost none of them do.
I am under the impression that I can't get inside people's heads or read their minds. When people do things I consider to be petty, vindictive, abusive, or just ignorant of what people need, I don't know why they do it. All I have to go on is why they say they do it, which if they suspect they might be punished for what they are doing, why should I expect they are telling the truth?
tim eisele,
Most of the time we can't even get into out own minds.
The problems I'm discussing are pretty pervasive, so if you are saying these are deliberate, then you are saying over half the population is deliberately racist. That doesn't sound like you.
Tim, the blog is here to work out ideas. Often it's not nice or tidy or pleasant as these are almost always stream-of-consciousness things.
In person, I try to keep my ranting down to a minimum.
I am under the impression that I can't get inside people's heads or read their minds.
Yep. That about sums it up for me, too.
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