Thursday, April 29, 2010

How to Prevent Charges of Racial Profiling in Arizona

... pull a play from the Stalin playbook!

Here's the problem: the new Arizona law is trying to enforce Federal laws against illegal immigration. Illegal immigration in Arizona is coming from Mexico because that's their international border. Mexico is full of Mexicans, but we're not allowed to recognize that. Instead, we have to pretend that in Arizona, Swedes are just as likely to be illegal aliens as Latinos. The goal here is to make sure your population of detainees does not overweight the people you know will be illegal, but instead, looks like the population at large.

The best solution here is to use paid informants, preferrably children*. The informants will report suspected illegal aliens to the police who will then round them up and ask for their proof of citizenship. Here's where Uncle Joe's lessons come into play: The key element will be quotas for each neighborhood. It won't matter if you really suspect that someone is illegal, you just need to round up enough people each week. But be careful! If the police don't have enough Swedes / Asians / blacks / Italians, they might just round you up after you turn in your neighbors!

It's the perfect solution! It allows us to be purposefully stupid while tipping our caps to one of the greatest lefties of all time. It's a win-win!

This little tyke ratted out his parents. Good job, young man! Unfortunately, we haven't rounded up enough Northern Europeans, so into the detention facility you go!

* - Children work best because they can be paid a pittance and we can use the already totalitarian-friendly public school system to drive the campaign through slogans and classroom "education" campaigns. This will take time away from their lessons on income redistribution and how to apply condoms, but that's a price we're willing to pay!

4 comments:

Kelly the little black dog said...

I don't know, I'd say he was about to eat it. He's sizing it up for a cooking time.

Rose said...

I find myself having conversations with my kids about this... like the don't talk to strangers talk... what if he didn't say "would you like some candy?" What if he said, "Have you seen my puppy? Wanna see a picture?"

So - - - what if they gather you and your friends in a room, and they encourage you to talk about your frustrations with your parents.... do you say, "My parents don't believe in Global Warming." "...don't like Obama." and any number of other scenarios... what do you say>

I advise them to be cautious. And tell them I hate that we are even having to worry about this.

But there are too many signs to stick our heads in the sand. If we are lucky, this is a passing fluke, and nothing comes of it. But we are at a tipping point as a nation.

Swat teams were called on little old ladies yesterday. Because they stood up to ask questions. Because they were 'associated' with the DANGEROUS RADICAL Tea Party.

Make no mistake. That is a dangerous thing. And the danger is coming from the left, and from Obama - and they won't be happy until they have brought about a modern day Kent State. We'll see then if the military will continue to fire on their own people.

Three years ago, I could not have imagined what has been coming down the pike would ever happen here.

What about you?

tim eisele said...

"Three years ago, I could not have imagined what has been coming down the pike would ever happen here."

When people say things like this, I am tempted to reply, "So,how did you like your lengthy stay on Mars?"

Anyone who couldn't see this coming three years ago, or twelve years ago, or twenty-five years ago, or really as soon as they were older than about 12 years old, I have to believe wasn't paying attention. Every president I can remember (and I can remember back to Nixon) I have heard or read being accused[1] of wanting to stomp on the Constitution and establish a totalitarian dictatorship. And, I might add, these accusations were not without merit: presidents have always been eager to acquire powers that they can abuse, and have always fought against giving any of them up.

Back after 9/11, I was very worried about all the extra powers that both parties wanted to heap onto Bush - partly because I was afraid of what Bush was going to do with them, but even more because I knew that *every President from then on was going to have access to those self-same powers*. I don't really like writing blank checks to perfect strangers, but that's what it amounted to.

So go ahead and fight against the current President abusing his power, and I will support you . . . but don't forget what sort of well-intentioned but short-sighted measures gave him access to those powers in the first place.

[1] Well, OK, not so much Carter and Ford, but that's mainly because Ford wasn't in office long enough for the stories to build up (and his pardon of Nixon kind of distracted from his other shortcomings), and Carter was mostly being accused of being a communist stooge who was going to sell us out to the Soviets. But the principle is there.

tim eisele said...

Incidentally, the whole business in Arizona reminds me of a charming police game that my brother told me about, that he encountered regularly during a lengthy stay in Ecuador:

[policeman spots isolated victim with no witnesses about, approaches]

Police: Papers, please.
Victim: [hands over papers]
Police: [takes papers, puts them in pocket] Papers, please.
Victim: But I just gave them to you! They're in your pocket!
Police: I don't know what you are talking about. So, no papers, eh? Come with me to the police station . . .
[at this point, I understand that bribery is supposed to happen, although if he's just wanting to have a bit of fun he may just haul you in for the heck of it]

The common counter to this ploy is to carry around about a dozen photocopies of your papers, and at each demand of "Papers, please" you hand him another copy until he gets tired of it (or runs out of room in his pocket) and moves on.