More about the Kukka Maria Experience

As some of you know, our Maximum Leader spent a wild day cavorting with the Feline Empress and Mother Superior of the Holy Order of Ocean Whitefish, Kukka-Maria. Kukka described their adventures including an astounding escape from the set of Dancing with the Stars. There were a couple of things she missed. For one thing, Kukka and KT spent quite a bit of time laughing as they went through the love quizzes in CosmoCat. Here’s one example.

What kind of lover are you?

Q: What’s your idea of a dream date?

1. Staring silently into your BF’s eyes, saying deep, meaningful things

2. A fifth of vodka, a bag of catnip, a hot tub and a sworn statement from reliable witnesses claiming you were actually three states away doing your nails

3. Stuffing your cheeks with seeds and running for hours

4. Rolling in filth and dragging yourself along the ground

Q: What’s the most important thing about your BF?

1. His devotion to his spiritual journey

2. His ability to buy you both a yacht and an airplane and still have some cash left over to give you a night you’d never forget if you had remained sufficiently sober

3. Their ability to bring seeds to you

4. Their ability to knock over trashcans and allow you to devour the rotting putrescence that spews forth

Q: What should your date smell like?

1. Incense

2. Rum

3. Sunflower seeds

4. Someone’s pants leg

Q: If you and your BF could double date with anyone, who would they be?

1. The Pope and Mother Theresa

2. Antonio Banderas and Brad Pitt for a truly wild foursome

3. The guys who make those bags of sunflower seeds

4. The garbage man and a sewer inspector

If you answered mostly:

1’s: You are a holy and reverent creature

2’s: You are super-sexy!

3’s: Are you sure you shouldn't be reading CosmoHamster?

4’s: You're disgusting. Put down this magazine at once and head for the nearest landfill.

There was lots more that went on. Hopefully I'll get a chance to blog about it.