Operation Bookworm Has Been Foiled!

We’ve been caught red-handed! Operation: Bookworm will have to be scrapped. Ohio State University professors are on to us and have filed sexual harassment lawsuits against one of our minions for his book recommendations.

Early Indoctrination – Jingoistic librarian Millicent Gorbdoodler wears an American flag while brainwashing children at the Tom Delay Memorial Re-education Camp.
As you know, the plan called for one of our mind-numbed robots to recommend a couple of mainstream conservative books to the frat boys and sorority chicks at OSU. The students would take the flyers with our list of four books and use them to write down the phone numbers of the total hottie they just met in English Lit class. After a night of binge drinking and anonymous sex, they would associate conservative principles and family values with the orgiastic fulfillment of gross bodily pleasures. They would belong to us forever!

Constant Surveillance – Librarian and CIA Superspy Constance McGreedle runs data fusion software on her massively parallel supercomputer to track citizens who have checked out Noam Chomsky books.
Like rats in an experiment that push down the lever that causes stimulation of the pleasure centers of the brain until they starve to death, our recruits at OSU would vote Republican repeatedly until the country was a fascist dictatorship under the jackboot of Karl Rove.

And our plan would have worked, too, if it hadn’t been for you meddling, hypersensitive, lunatic professors.

Law Enforcement in the Library – No talking is the order of the day at the public library in Northwest Buzzards Gulch, Wyoming. Archconservative robot GORMOK-III monitors the situation.
In a related story, no lawsuits were filed over Comedy Central showing cartoons of Jesus Christ defecating on the American flag.