Saturday, November 26, 2016

"It's Our Most Festive Christmas Ever!"

On Pandora, from time to time I hear an ad for Disneyland that talks about their Christmas celebrations with the line, "It's our most festive Christmas ever!" Those "best one yet" things always get me because they imply that last year's was worse. When I hear this ad, I mentally finish it like so.

"It's our most festive Christmas ever! I mean, it could hardly help but improve on last year's when the parade ground to a halt because one of the floats burst into flames, scorching those orphans. Man, that was pretty horrible. We're really trying to avoid a repeat of that disaster. And don't get us started on the time those lions escaped in 1973. What a mess! Anyway, if you come up this year, we promise to try not to kill or maim any of you."

No comments: