Sunday, September 09, 2012

Hamsters Love The Code Of Federal Regulations

... and that's another little-known fact brought to you by The Scratching Post.

It's true! Hamsters love the thing! They love to nibble at the binding, tear up the pages, stuff it in their cheeks, make nests with it, and just generally shred it to pieces. In the process of doing so, they ingest a great deal of the regulations therein, becoming experts on the subject.

During this election season, we'll hear lots and lots about how deregulation will create a Darwinian, post-apocalyptic society where the strong will feed upon the weak in a winner-take-all mortal combat cage match. Instead of weighing in on this or that aspect of the issue, we've decided that our resident expert on the Code of Federal Regulations (CFR), Jacob the Syrian Hamster, will, err, regurgitate tidbits from the CFR so you can see what it's really like and how totally digestible it is for the average person*.

Some hamsters, like the one above, have to make do with color circulars from the newspaper, but here in the spacious editorial offices of the 'Post, we've got a complete copy of the Code of Federal Regulations for Jacob to digest.

* - You can visit sites like Political Calculations and Ten Thousand Commandments for summaries of the CFR, but after looking through their charts and graphs, you have no idea what any of the numbers or graphs mean. Neither does anyone else. No one speaking on the subject has a comprehension of the magnitude of government management of our lives. Some might know this or that section well, but it's a good bet that for all practical purposes, the number of people who understand the whole thing is essentially zero.

Update from Jacob: We're going to include texts of bills and the tax code as well in this series as neither of them are well represented in the CFR and they are equally massive and filled with chewable fiber!

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