Real Men Live In The 1950s

 ... once we get married. Yes, I know I'm using the cliche "real men*," but this is my blog and I get to use tropes if I want. So there.

It occurred to me only recently as I was rummaging around in the sex and dating wars on the Internet, trying to understand why AI couldn't write proper Arthurian fiction, that while many women strongly assert that they won't live like a woman from the 1950s, they all want a husband from the 1950s. Protect, provide, cherish is the order of the day, week, month, year, decade, century, millennia ...

My father was drafted into the Army in 1944. As his infantry unit was preparing to leave for France and get cut to pieces in the Battle of the Bulge, he was transferred to West Point. He had always wanted to be an aeronautical engineer, but those plans were put on hold because of the war. He might have returned to those, but then he met my mom. Once the ring was on his finger, he devoted his life wholeheartedly to protect, provide, cherish. His entire life was dedicated to making sure his wife and children had what they needed.

After 32 years in the military, he retired and built a house. After that, he took up painting and turned out to be very talented. 25 years as an artist followed. I have a ton of his paintings and most of them are excellent.

He could never have been a professional artist because it was not his best route to protect, provide and cherish. The military gave him a career path that did what his family needed done from medical care for yours truly as I struggled with various childhood health issues to parochial schooling for all 4 of us kids to making sure mom was provided for throughout her life even after he died.

My dad's dreams didn't matter compared to his responsibilities as a husband and a father. He owned a boat for a while, but that was about the sum total of his self-indulgence.

I've tried to live my life the same way. We've given our kids Catholic schooling, helped them buy their first houses, I've made sure wife kitteh got the remodel and the cars she wanted and we've even bought a condo in Chicago for her best friend who was facing severe housing insecurity. My own dreams of having a vacation home on the Fish River in Alabama are still remote. I couldn't live any other way. The ring went on my finger and from there on out, it was protect, provide, cherish.

I've had all manner of opportunities and career dreams that I never pursued because it would have been bad for my family. It's no big deal, really. I chose family over being a gentleman adventurer and I would do it again without a second thought.

Women face that same choice when the ring goes on the finger, but modern women influenced by feminism shriek about the choices they face, demanding those choices be taken away and replaced with a buffet where they get it all. They want the career, husband, kids, vacations, etc. They don't want to have to choose between them. That's the essence of what I've gleaned from scouring the romance wars on the Internet.

Youngest son kitteh got married last Saturday. I know for certain that now that the ring is on his finger, he will live to protect, provide and cherish. Real men do that.

Real men live in the 1950s. We always have.

* - Yes, I've heard of the No True Scotsman Fallacy. No need to bring it up in the comments.