I've managed to connect my ArduCam shield to my Arduino board and wrote the code to set up and test the thing. The test code only confirms the setup, it doesn't actually take any pictures. It's sufficiently foreign to me that I'll need a relaxed, 8-hour day dedicated to the project to take it to completion. It's not the sort of thing I can do in small bites. Other people probably could, but I can't.
My MGB center console was fabricated quite some time ago and it sits on my BB-60 workbench in the garage, looking at me every time I go out there. Making a modular wiring harness for it will be sufficiently complicated that I'll need a relaxed, 8-hour day dedicated to the project to take it to completion. It's not the sort of thing I can do in small bites. Other people probably could, but I can't.
I just don't have that time even though I'm "retired." It's insanely frustrating. I've got commitments at work and don't want to let down the young men there.
Yesterday, on our internal social media site at work, a woman linked to yet another article wherein a career woman lamented that she was going mad trying to balance having children with working. The feminists, of which there are many, chimed in with #leanin hashtaggery and discussions of how the employer needs to be more supportive of career women who are also moms.
The truth of the matter is that being a mom isn't a trivial job. It's not one you can subordinate to your career, not if you want to do it well. Heck, stay-at-home moms stress about being good enough, what would expect from women who are trying to do two full-time jobs? You can carry that load for a short while, but only someone of heroic temperament can do it for an extended period of time.
Speaking of that, check out Larry Elder's discussion of figuring out what his dad had done for him. Even someone that heroic couldn't handle the stress of that kind of work load.
Things being what they are these days, I didn't join in the conversation. My input would have been filled with bigoted hate no matter how I couched it. Still, the truth of the matter is that you can't have it all. I can't finish the ArduCam and MGB projects unless I stop working for a while. You can't be a devoted parent and devoted employee at the same time.
Some things just take time and there's only so much time in the day.
8 comments:
I agree that when you divide your time, you divide your efforts, and that you can't truly excel at both. The only issue I have is in addressing to women, as opposed to all parents. Being a *parent* isn't a trivial job.
One Brow - Always nice to find common ground. It should and does apply to all parents. Certainly in the case of Mrs Ohioan and myself, we both did much less 'progressing' upward in our careers while we had younger children, as we both quite consciously made them the priority.
Now let me ask you why you thought KT was "addressing to women, as opposed to all parents"? Or am I reading into your comment something you did not intend when you were really suggesting that the original posters were the ones who should have been more inclusive?
Ohioan@Heart,
I though he was primarily addressing/discussing women based on these two paragraphs. I'll bold every reference to gender, and don't see any mention for men/dads. Do you see a more inclusive notion than I?
I wonder if there is something about the on-line experience that encourages people to focus on differences rather than similarities?
Yesterday, on our internal social media site at work, a woman linked to yet another article wherein a career woman lamented that she was going mad trying to balance having children with working. The feminists, of which there are many, chimed in with #leanin hashtaggery and discussions of how the employer needs to be more supportive of career women who are also moms.
The truth of the matter is that being a mom isn't a trivial job. It's not one you can subordinate to your career, not if you want to do it well. Heck, stay-at-home moms stress about being good enough, what would expect from women who are trying to do two full-time jobs? You can carry that load for a short while, but only someone of heroic temperament can do it for an extended period of time.
Men and women are different creatures. There isn't a double standard for them, there is one standard for each.
One Brow - Interesting. I saw that KT had only mentioned women. But I concluded that the original poster he referred to was a woman (who was a mom) and that those that piled on were women as well. So rather than assuming that KT focused his comments towards women, I assumed he focused them to those who actually participated in the discussion. [Note: I wouldn't have participated in the 'discussion' for the same reason that KT didn't. I think I have some credentials showing I'm not sexist (Mrs Ohioan went to grad school and got her PHD after we were married, she worked continuously even while we raised our kids, we both put a fairly strong pause on our career progression to focus on the kids while they were young, I was on the original committee to set up a day care at my place of employment, etc), but why poke the bear?]
So I wonder, does a complaint, by a woman or women, that "the employer needs to be more supportive of career women who are also moms" strike you as sexist? I would think that if the employer provides some 'support' to men who are also dads, then any lack of same support would be ipso facto discriminatory. I do not believe such exists. If so, then the suggestion that women need what would be extra support seems to be dismissive of women, and providing support to only women would be clearly discriminatory. I would also suggest that if a man said that women who are moms need extra support above that which men who are dads need, such a statement would be either sexist, or at least demeaning, through the implicit suggestion that women can't do what men can.
I've said all I want to, so you can answer or not, but I will go into radio silence on this topic.
*sympathy* I'm a mom, and I try to avoid the mommy wars. Will still pick up axe against the attacks, but I have quite enough work without being a free-floating therapist for folks' suppressed self-hate.
Even complete agreement isn't safe, because the folks who will respond are hurting. You agree, and they'll have to disagree, because in their hearts they think they screwed up the most important job they could possibly have.
K T Cat,
Men and women are different creatures. There isn't a double standard for them, there is one standard for each.
1 + 1 =/= 2? Is that the new math? :)
Ohioan@Heart,
So I wonder, does a complaint, by a woman or women, that "the employer needs to be more supportive of career women who are also moms" strike you as sexist?
At the very least, it plays into systemic sexism as well.
I would think that if the employer provides some 'support' to men who are also dads, then any lack of same support would be ipso facto discriminatory. I do not believe such exists.
The reality on the ground is that women are expected to do more of the work around the house overall (your family may be an exception), even when both spouses are career people. I agree that the call should be for more support for career parents, but note the lack of support does affect one gender more than the other.
If so, then the suggestion that women need what would be extra support seems to be dismissive of women, and providing support to only women would be clearly discriminatory. I would also suggest that if a man said that women who are moms need extra support above that which men who are dads need, such a statement would be either sexist, or at least demeaning, through the implicit suggestion that women can't do what men can.
Such a statement seems to rely on the notion of an equal division of labor in two-career households, which is an unusual arrangement.
I've said all I want to, so you can answer or not, but I will go into radio silence on this topic.
As you wish, although I value your contributions.
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