Dissatisfied

Note: I can't recommend Matthew Kelly's video enough and that includes all of the protestants, atheists, animists, numerologists and phantasmagorians among you. It's a little over 3 minutes long. You can do this.

And now, on with the show.

Before the Chinese Panic arrived, I was following along with Matthew Kelly's Best Lent Ever series. The one that hit me the most was this one. It's about St. Francis and the dissatisfaction with life that drove him. It's so me.

I was able to download the video, but instead of posting it on my own YouTube channel, I'll simply leave the link here out of respect for Matthew and his team.

Yesterday, I was spray painting the center console on my MGB. As I did so, I realized that I'm almost done with this project. I should be able to finish it today.

If you're new to my ravings, I have completely rewired a 1973 MGB from scratch, wire by wire. I've redesigned the electrical system as I've gone along. When I started, I knew how to plug a male connector into a female connector and that was about it.

During this project, I've learned about all kinds of electrical connectors, how to choose the right wire for the right load, how to solder and how to read and draw schematics to the point where I can do it in my head, on the fly. I also learned how to construct things out of fiberglass, how to use a Dremel, how to test a charging system in a car and so much more.

I should have felt a tremendous sense of accomplishment, but I didn't. I only felt dissatisfaction. The journey was almost over and all I wanted was another journey.

The dissatisfaction that St. Francis felt was God calling him to the next thing He needed Francis to do in life. The dissatisfaction I feel, that will only be salved by a new project, is God telling me that He still has work for me to do.

At some point, like my father before me, God will give me the task of being the focus of selfless giving by others. I will become old and infirm and will be a bottomless pit of need that others will have to work hard to fill. Life is an adventure story and we all have parts in it. Sometimes we're the hero, sometimes we're the dude what gets whacked, the injustice of which drives another character to become a hero. Sometimes, we're the mentor that tries to teach the kids about life.

My dissatisfaction is telling me that I still have adventures ahead of me. I like that.