Clinging to Guns and Religion at the Same Time

Barack Obama has been unfairly taken to task for claiming that small-town yokels cling to guns and religion because they're bitter about economicatricals or renuberation of the currency or some high fallutin' stuff like that. Well, boy howdy, is he right! At our church we actually show up for Mass packin' our shootin' irons. Our chalices are now extra large so after we take the sacramental wine, we've got a good buzz on. Naturally, this leads to drunken gunfights in the pews.

Transubstantiate this, ya yellow-bellied apostate!