Snakes In Bomb Shelters

 Alternate title: Are extension cords snake sex toys?

Dig this photo, taken in our garage late yesterday afternoon.

Hidden underneath the extension cord is a big rattler.

Around 6 PM, I had gone out to the garage to put a case of Diet Pepsi in the fridge. I lifted the case, heard a buzz and saw the snake glaring at me behind where the sodas had been. The fridge door was open, so when I jumped back in surprise, I managed to knock a bottle of wine to the floor, shattering it, smash a door compartment off the fridge and drop the box of sodas.

We've dealt with rattlers before and managed to kill them, but this time it was complicated. First, I was in shorts and sandals. No snakebite defense there. Second, he was in the garage and if he decided to find a new hiding place, it would be nearly impossible to find him. Third, that extension cord was the equivalent of a bomb shelter.

I had killed the last one by dropping a 4x4 on his head. He had cooperated by coiling up out in the open on the cement, relying on the threat of his bite and the warning sound of his rattles to protect him. This time, I had large, heavy objects at hand, but they were useless. I needed a precision munition to get the head. If I missed, he'd probably slither out and make things more interesting than I wanted.

Time for the pros. I called 911, got patched in to animal control and 30 minutes later, me watching the snake from atop a step ladder the whole time, a wisp of a girl showed up to wrangle the rattler.

She was an expert at it. She told me she did about three of these a day in the summer. She had a grabber and a hook and although the snake was furious, angrier than most, she said, the snake was in her bucket and driving off to be released in a local canyon in short order.

He got even angrier when she started grabbing at him.

For a brief moment, he got loose and made a run for the garage again.

Really, the bucket was the safest place for him.

I was glad to see she didn't kill him. Poor old snake. He was just doing his thing and slithered hither when he should have slithered yon.

As she left, she told us to be on the lookout for a rattler nest. It might have been a mom guarding her eggs. We waved cheerfully and she drove away with the snake.

Wait.

A RATTLER NEST?!?