The LSU Squirtles

If you haven't heard, team names and mascots that might be considered racist are under attack.

Well, not all team names, just some. Here in San Diego, the SDSU Aztecs got rid of the semi-goofy Monty Montezuma mascot because it was offensive to indigenous peoples. You know, those indigenous peoples who enslaved other tribes so they could practice mass vivisection. We wouldn't want to taint that noble memory.

The LSU Tigers are garnering protests because their nickname, the Tigers, allegedly referred to the tiger-like ferocity of Louisiana units that fought for the Confederacy. Similarly, the Washington Redskins are under constant threat because their nickname, while liked by American Indians, is disliked by people who claim to represent American Indians.

Enough of this already! I, KT Cat, have the answer.

Let's name our teams after Pokemon creatures. The Washington Zubats. The LSU Squirtles. The Southeast Wyoming Technical Trade School Rattatas. It all makes perfect sense. No one is offended and the souvenirs and clothing are already plentiful.

You're welcome.

Here, the mascot of the Penn State Charizards strikes a fearsome pose. Flame on, beloved alma mater!