My default reaction to disappointments, annoyances and disagreements is anger. A random selection from the archives of the blog will show you that. Polemics come easily. Forgiveness from the polemicized comes hard. I think I've managed to keep the nasty snarks to a minimum with my family for the past several months. I find myself tempted and I manage to suppress it.
OK, "manage" isn't the right word. I didn't want to make this another religious post, but here's the truth: At Cursillo, when someone gives a talk, the prayer over the speaker is to have the Holy Spirit speak through that person. I sometimes pray for that when I get angry and it makes me think of Christian ways to deal with the situation and avoid verbally shredding someone else. I don't always do this; sometimes my self-restraint is simply long-range, enlightened self-interest. I can yell at you today, but our relationship after that point isn't going to be very good. You're going to be looking for reasons to yell at me.
When I've held back, I find myself thinking the next day just what would be happening over dinner or in the bedroom if I had cut loose and yelled the night before. I'm always glad I restrained myself.
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