What I Would Say if I Were Obama

So the president has a big speech on ObamaCare next week. Or some time in the near future. I confess I'm not paying that much attention to Mr. Windbag. In it, he'll need to square the circle. Charles Krauthammer explains the problem in his previous attempts to defend Obamacare.

With answers so slippery and implausible and, well, fishy, he began jeopardizing the most fundamental asset of any new president -- trust. You can't say that the system is totally broken and in need of radical reconstruction, but nothing will change for you; that Medicare is bankrupting the country, but $500 billion in cuts will have no effect on care; that you will expand coverage while reducing deficits -- and not inspire incredulity and mistrust. When ordinary citizens understand they are being played for fools, they bristle.

I don't see what he can come out and say that will make a difference. His opponents are all violent, Nazi racists trying to scare old folks and his plan will reduce the deficit while giving each of us annual MRIs. At least that's the foundation he's laid for his speech.

If I were him, I'd fake a head accident in the White House. I'd have my aides claim I tripped over a copy of Das Kapital that was carelessly left at the top of the stairs by Van Jones and that I fell down the stairs and smacked my head. I'd then claim short-term amnesia, act like I couldn't recall anything I had said in the last 4 months and wonder what all the fuss was about. I'd then be able to backtrack out of the corner I was in.

Of course, it would be possible that some might call for my removal, positing that I might be suffering from more severe cranial trauma, but a quick speech or two by Joe Biden would put an end to all that.

There. That's my best shot. Can you do better?