On Happiness and Satisfaction

In today's Wall Street Journal, Jonathan Clements writes about Why What You Have Is Never Enough.

First, he claims we're unhappy.

As a country, we are richer than ever. Yet surveys show that Americans are no happier than they were 30 years ago. The key problem: We aren't very good at figuring out what will make us happy.

We constantly hanker after fancier cars and fatter paychecks -- and, initially, such things boost our happiness. But the glow of satisfaction quickly fades and soon we're yearning for something else.

Similarly, we tell our friends that our kids are our greatest joy. Research, however, suggests the arrival of children lowers parents' reported happiness, as they struggle with the daily stresses involved.

Two possible explanations are given.

1. We aren't built to be happy. Rather, we are built to survive and reproduce. We wouldn't be here today if our ancestors didn't struggle mightily to protect and feed their families. The promise of happiness, meanwhile, is just a trick to jolly us along...

2. We're bad at forecasting...we fail to anticipate how quickly we will adapt to improvements in our lives. We think everything will be wonderful when we move into the bigger house. We don't realize that, after a few months, we will take the extra space for granted.

I would suggest that it's all a matter of perspective. From what I've read, happiness is all in they way you look at life. There are happy people in the fields of the Central Valley, picking tomatoes and living in migrant workers' camps. There are unhappy people living in mansions in Beverly Hills. Above a certain level, subsistence plus a little bit of discretionary income, happiness is independent of money and possessions.

In Viktor Frank's book, Man's Search For Meaning, he claims that you cannot be happy by pursuing happiness, only by doing what is right. Dr. Frankl was a Jewish psychologist in Vienna who got swept into the Nazi death camps and survived Auschwitz and others. In the book, he tells a story that illustrates this.

Near the end of the war, the camps were struck by a typhus epidemic. Being a doctor, he was forced to care for the sick and the dying. At the bedside of one sick man, he swore not to leave him until he had died. A friend offered him a chance to escape the camp as the Russian army was approaching. Escape meant life and staying most likely meant death. Dr. Frankl agonized over the decision and finally chose to stay at the sick man's side. He said that a peaceful calm came over him after that decision despite the risks entailed.

I think it's not what you have that counts, it's what you are and what you do. It's accomplishment, measured against your own limitations and failings that makes you happy. It is rejoicing in what you have done with what God gave you that gives satisfaction.

I think a lot of times, we're too hard on ourselves and compare ourselves with a composite created from the best aspects of the people around us. We want to be athletic like an athlete, smart like a scientist, rich like a tycoon and so on. You can't be all of those things. They aren't all of those things. We each were given unique gifts and were asked to do good things with them.

Maybe it's enough to rejoice in the joy we bring into the world with what we've got and not constantly strive for more.