Preface: This post is getting a lot of hits. It was written emotionally. A slightly more considered version can be found here.
In today's Sunday Times, Kate Mulvey writes one of the most naive and ignorant articles of all time. What modern women want: a beta male, subtitled Men are surrendering in the sex war, taking on the supporting role rings true only for those people who have yet to experience life as a spouse and a parent.
Executive summary message to clueless Kate: Shut up about your career and show that you can do the job of wife and mother, you moron. Men and women are different, Katie. Their bodies are different, their brains are different, their thought processes are different. It's not a point to discuss in a coffeehouse while listening to Alanis Morisette, it's a biological fact. When it comes to relationships and raising a family, all of your feminist twaddle is simply an act of Herculean overthinking of a pretty simple proposition that was solved 6000 years ago by ancestors that had never even heard of Gloria Steinem.
Longer version: I'm a single dad to two children. I have them 50% of the time, but do 100% of the parenting. I go to all the athletic events, all the school nights, all the teacher conferences, do all the volunteer work at the schools and so forth. If you and I were dating, do you think I'd give a rat's ass about your career? The life most couples live prior to having children covers a tiny fraction of the duration of their relationship compared to the time they live together after having kids. What you did at your law firm (or wherever it is you spend all your time and energy) doesn't matter in the slightest. Your partner is going to need someone to help drive the kids to school, meet with the teachers, bring snacks to the soccer games, help catch the hamster when it goes behind the sofa, simultaneously hold a crying infant and clean poop off of every conceivable body surface, soothe and treat a child with a broken arm and clean Coke out of the VCR when it's been spilled. How about your qualifications as a wife? Any hint of how you'd be a matched partner to your man? No. All you have is a resume you'd give to an employer.
The fact that you delivered a blistering summary to conclude the Wilson case in court doesn't mean a thing.
Still longer version, complete with excerpts and my reactions:
Last week I went to dinner with an eligible doctor. As we were finishing the main course, I struck up conversation with the owner (Marco) in Italian – I speak five languages. My date nearly choked on his linguini and spent the rest of the date mute. I had committed the worst dating faux pas: I had outshone my suitor.You hadn't outshone anything. Those qualifications are worthless.
Yet it would seem I am not the only woman who is wondering whether it is time to hang up her brain and turn into a Stepford Datee.You twit, you already hung up your brain. You're a condescending jerk and don't even know it. You assume that your doctor date and the Swiss banker mentioned later in your article aren't making educated decisions to dump you based on experience. You think that all they want is a tight butt and an empty head. Let me give you the inside scoop. As much as I've dated, if you and I went out, I'd have your career obsession dialed in after about ten minutes. From there on out, I'd be trying to figure out how to end the date as fast as possible and get back home to watch reruns of Get Smart.
Should women pander to male insecurities?How about if you simply showed that you could do the job of wife and mother? All through your article, you don't show a single qualification for the position. All you show is that you've got a great education and a career. Good for you, as in "you, singular." You have yet to prove that you have any comprehension of what it takes to juggle the three roles of professional, wife and mother. It looks to me that professional is going to come out on top since that's all you seem to care about. Well, screw that. You bet I'm going to run off with "a lovely Spanish girl who worked in (my) office." Professional is the role I care the least about.
Oh, forget it. I'm not going through the rest of her empty-headed yapping. She goes on to argue in favor of some kind of cringing, skillet-licking, pantywaist wiener as a husband. Go for it, girl. I can raise kids on my own, repair anything in the house, fix any car, coach sports, and defend my family with my life and some strong kung fu. I pull down a very good salary, have traveled extensively and have an excellent education, thank you very much. But the salary and the travel and the education are absolutely secondary to the real needs of the family. Once Kate figures that out, she might have better success dating. Until then, she can keep looking for some kind of bed wetter for a husband.
H/T: The Puppy Blender turned us on to this Hot Air post which led us to Katie's waste of breath.
Others weighing in on this include Riehl World View, Blogofascists and Classical Values.