We Need Men Who Need A Woman

I think I'm going to close up this long, long series of blog posts on sex, Sex, SEX! with this simple summary.

We, as a culture, need men who need a woman. Women, individually, need a man who needs them. Single women need a culture where men need women.

Strong Men Come From Feminine Wisdom

A man who needs a woman will do his best to be the kind of man she craves - strong, confident and competent. He will work hard to be worthy of her love. A society populated by strong, confident and competent men will thrive. A society populated by emasculated, insecure, lazy, unskilled men will not.

The only way we get those men is if women cultivate them. Men are simple creatures and crave admiration, respect and sex from a woman. If women are raised to be "strong and independent," then you can knock out the first two. If porn is plentiful, you can knock out the third.

Women, in a primal environment, are neither strong nor independent. Women can only be strong and independent if they can afford to have men create a barrier between them and the primal world. Some can afford that, most cannot.

For a man, porn can superficially replace a woman, but it hollows him out and makes him weak.

In a culture that has dismissed the wisdom inherited from past generations as racist, patriarchal, imperialist and bigoted, the realizations that modern culture is based upon lies only arise through prolonged, personal experience. Because women have short windows of fertility, the realizations often happen too late. From my previous post:

Ordinary girls are told to get a career and not bother about marriage until they're much older. Time works in opposite directions for men and women. A man in his 30s is more attractive than a man in his 20s because he is more experienced, more competent and wealthier. A woman in her 30s is less attractive than a woman in her 20s because her youthful body is aging.

If we are to have men that need a woman, we first need women who follow the inherited wisdom of past generations. The basics of life as a woman haven't changed in centuries. Our matriarchal forebears understood all of this which is why they shaped the culture we inherited and have now discarded. 

The Arthurian Legends As Archetypes

As we've seen from previous posts in this series, women crave chivalrous men. While there are earlier stories of chivalry, it is Sir Thomas Mallory's Le Morte D'Arthur that is the original classic of the genre and provides the model for chivalric behavior.

Then there was a damosel that was daughter to King Bandes. And there was a knight that hight Corsabrin, and he loved the damosel, and in no wise he would suffer her to be married; for ever this Corsabrin noised her, and named her that she was out of her mind; and thus he let her that she might not be married.

So by fortune this damosel heard tell that Palomides did much for damosels’ sake; so she sent to him a pensel, and prayed him to fight with Sir Corsabrin for her love. Then the damosel sent unto Corsabrin, and bade him go unto Sir Palomides and she gave him warning that she had sent him her pensel, and if he might overcome Palomides she would wed him. When Corsabrin wist of her deeds then was he wood wroth and angry, and rode unto Surluse where the haut prince was, and there he found Sir Palomides ready, the which had the pensel. So there they waged battle either with other afore Galahalt. 

This brief anecdote from Le Morte has been the plot of countless movies, stories and TV shows. The girl is threatened and the guy rescues her for her love. He's a man who needs a woman. Stories like this have entertained us for generation after generation because it speaks a truth and is based in reality.

Our Culture Has Lost The Archetypal Plot

When I tried writing Arthurian stories with AI, read: ChatGPT, the AI couldn't do it. Invariably, the ladies were strong and independent and the knights were submissive. As an author, I couldn't motivate the knights to do anything at all. The stories invariably ended with the couple separating so the lady could be strong and independent, leaving the scene to pursue her career ambitions. That was without porn, too. If I had introduced an ocean of porn into the story, nothing would ever have gotten off the ground until the characters realized it was all a lie, somewhere in their 40s.

AI, which is generated through the consumption of all available text, most of which is modern, is the embodiment of our culture. AI failed to write Arthurian stories because it didn't believe chivalry was based in reality because our culture doesn't understand that chivalry is reality.

Latisha in West Baltimore, Maria in Barrio Logan and Tiffany in Verbena, Alabama aren't the ones who create the culture. Instead, it's their teachers, entertainers, HR reps and corporate training offices who do it. Those professions are populated by a monoculture of Elites who have been shielded from primal reality by powerful, determined men whose protection is invisible to the Elites. The fair damsels who help to shape our culture are indeed protected by brave knights, but those knights are invisible to them. More to the point, those damsels don't understand how badly they need those knights.

Latisha, Maria and Tiffany understand. Primal threats are much closer to them and visible in their daily lives. While they have been raised to believe in our modern fantasy world, they often discover that it's all lies too late. That's how you end up with "single woman hits the wall and cries because she can't get dates any more" videos.

Click on that link and watch a couple of them. It's one thing to see graphs that show depression is skyrocketing for women, it's another thing entirely to watch a real woman sobbing because she's hitting the wall and realizing that the culture fed her toxic lies. It's shocking when it happens to a real woman right in front of you.

Motivating The Characters

My epiphanies all came from character motivations, derived from biology and human nature. We are driven to reproduce. Women want a man who will protect, provide, cherish and commit. Men need respect, admiration and sex. A woman's ability to secure a man declines as she ages. If she wants a husband, her best bet is to secure one early in life. With every year, she faces a new crop of competition, all younger and many prettier than she is.

Get the guy while you can!

In my stories, it made no sense at all for a young lady to wander off to pursue her interests when she had a good knight hooked and yet it happened over and over and over again. Yes, young women often enjoy playing the field when they're young and finally hit an age where they are driven to settle down, but AI wasn't writing that, it was writing career women aiming for the corner office. Marriage and babies weren't even in the picture. 

When it gave me plot lines where the damsel wandered off to pursue sustainable, organic, feminist poetry, I would sometimes push the timeline out 10 years and ask AI to posit her future. At no time did it give me one of those women from the videos above. AI could answer science questions about reproductive biology, but it couldn't write fiction driven by it. That sounds precisely like what is coming out of our education system. We teach all manner of sex acts to children, but nothing at all about romance and marriage.

AI also gave me stories where the women supported each other by helping each other pursue their careers or hobbies. At no time did the AI write gossip sessions where the girls discussed whether or not their beau was going to pop the question. Again, marriage and family were not important to the maidens, it was all about careers and personal growth.

Writing these stories, you could see these characters heading straight into the wall. They'd hit 35, still be single, crave babies and be unable to compete with the 22 year-olds because they'd had the wrong mindset when they were young. Which is what is happening in real life.

We're shaping our young women to hit the wall, hard.

It's A Numbers Game

When you talk to single women in their mid-30s, you often hear them talk about how dating is a numbers game. If you want a husband and a family, you go where the good guys are. These ladies have done the analysis and discussed it extensively with their peers. My AI characters never did that.

Another issue that comes up when you talk to women facing a life of spinsterhood, is the lack of good men in the dating pool. What the women don't understand, can't understand, is how porn poisons men. Porn devalues women by giving young men an outlet for their sexual needs. Yes, there was Playboy in the past, but that's nothing compared to PornHub. It's the difference between Coors Light and heroin.

My bachelor knights came from a world without porn. Writing those characters, it was trivial to motivate them to ardently pursue a maiden. They were men who needed a woman in the most primal way. It was easy to see how the stories would became flaccid if the bachelor-knights were awash in porn. Fight over a lady? Why?

Women want and need chivalry from their men. Porn saps a man's motivation to woo a woman. True feminism, a true sisterhood of young ladies who wanted to support each other would have the elimination of porn as their primary goal. No, it's not possible to completely get rid of it, but a culture that slammed porn as hard as we push careers for women would have a whole lot bigger dating pool of good men.

Allure Starts The Stories

In the Arthurian legends, the knights may perform all the action, but it's the ladies who drive the plots.

So turn we to the damosel of the castle, that when Alisander le Orphelin had forjousted the four knights, she called him to her, and said thus: Sir knight, wilt thou for my sake joust and fight with a knight, for my sake, of this country, that is and hath been long time an evil neighbour to me? His name is Malgrin, and he will not suffer me to be married in no manner wise for all that I can do, or any knight for my sake. Damosel, said Alisander, an he come whiles I am here I will fight with him, and my poor body for your sake I will jeopard.

This makes sense from biological realities. Women need to be shopping for a husband when they're young. Young men can take their time. There aren't many videos out there where 35-year-old men wail about hitting the wall because for men, that wall doesn't show up until they hit about 40. Up to a point, guys get more attractive as they age, not less.

Women have time constraints that men don't have. That was the ticking clock of my stories and it was something that AI didn't understand at all. AI could not write stories with any sense of urgency because the ladies all felt that the knights were disposable.

Another aspect of feminine romantic limitations that AI couldn't comprehend was the selectivity of men. I've heard young women who participate in singles groups talk about what happens when a new guy joins the group. All of the unattached girls wonder who he will pick. Romance begins when a man finds a woman alluring. The more men find her attractive, the more choices she will have.

That leads us back to the first post in this series where I saw a woman who looked something like this at the supermarket.

Every other woman in the supermarket was slovenly, frumpy and morose. This girl blew all of her competition out of the water. If it had been a singles meetup, every new guy would have picked her.

Not only does AI not understand that, but most modern young women are taught not to value it. That means the culture doesn't understand it or value it. That's murder on romance.

Two days ago, I had to run some errands right at the time our local high school was done for the day. As usual, I scouted the talent pouring out of the school. It takes quite a bit of work to make a high school girl unattractive, but these girls had really put their backs into the job. There wasn't a looker among them and I must have seen 80 of them. Almost all were overweight and not one of them wore something feminine. They had put no effort into their hair styles or makeup. Smiling was out of the question for all but a few.

It's worth noting that while this is true in San Diego, when I go to Fairhope, Alabama, the exact opposite holds. Similarly, the campus of Ole Miss was positively radioactive with girls who were absolute experts at allure. If I were a young man at Ole Miss, I'd fall in love 17 times a day. I'd be working my tail off to be strong, confident and competent so I was attractive to them. I would indeed "joust and fight with a knight" for their sakes.

Still, the data points here in San Diego are what they are and they echo AI perfectly. The ladies in my stories put no value at all in the attentions of men. In fact, every mention of beauty was accompanied by dismissive modifiers talking about how unimportant appearances were. What really mattered was accomplishment or ambition.

That killed the stories right out of the gate. Motivating the knights was a struggle from the get-go.

Sir, said the damosel Linet unto Sir Beaumains, look ye be glad and light, for yonder is your deadly enemy, and at yonder window is my lady, my sister, Dame Lionesse. Where? said Beaumains. Yonder, said the damosel, and pointed with her finger. That is truth, said Beaumains. She beseemeth afar the fairest lady that ever I looked upon; and truly, he said, I ask no better quarrel than now for to do battle, for truly she shall be my lady, and for her I will fight.

Err, actually, she's kind of fat, sullen and frumpy. Maybe I'm not the right knight for this job. Is it too late to get Sir Brandiles, instead?

Women Drive The Stories

Once I realized that girls like to be asked out, I had no lack of dates in college. It wasn't that I was a catch, it's that I showed interest and made them feel desirable. I still think about some of my flames. Cindy, Angie and Denise - I sometimes find myself involuntarily remembering them, filled with remorse for what I didn't do. All three made the right decision in dumping me as I was not worthy of their love. When I think about any one of them, I relive what I should have done and how I should have worked harder to be the kind of man a woman would want.

When I think about my first two wives, the first a malignant narcissist and the second a borderline psychotic, I have no such regrets. Be thankful for small blessings, I suppose. 😊

I don't think that way about my failed PhD attempt. I got a Master's out of it and that's fine. I don't think that way about my career, either. I had chances to advance even further than I did, but didn't take them. I even got invited to come to work at the White House. That would have been fun, but I don't regret not taking the job.

A woman can inspire a man in a way that nothing else does. These days, I work while wife kitteh does as she pleases. When I'm working, I sometimes check out her location on Google Maps just for fun. If she's at TJ Maxx or Marshall's doing her recreational shopping, I feel tremendous pleasure and accomplishment. I know that I've made it possible for the woman I love to live the life that makes her happy. You just can't beat that.

Women drive the stories in the Arthurian legends.

Why, said La Beale Isoud, are ye a knight and be no lover? it is shame to you: wherefore ye may not be called a good knight but if ye make a quarrel for a lady.

Women can only do that intentionally. You can't be fat, slovenly and morose and drive anyone's story unless it's to drive them away. AI could not understand this which means it is missing from our culture. See also, Snow White, idiotic remake of.

That's Disney, an excellent representative of the modern culture and another huge data point supporting my hypothesis about AI being the embodiment of that culture. AI had precisely that attitude.

AI expected proper behavior from the knights, but no reciprocal behavior from the ladies. In fact, in its stories, after a knight had fought for her, the lady never even thanked him. She would immediately start talking about how she was going to wander off and do her own thing. Wrestling with AI, the only way I could get it to write gratitude in female characters was to have the men subserviently support and affirm them. The women got all the freedom while the men's efforts were dismissed as unimportant.

How about no?

Again, it was impossible to motivate the knights. I would get frustrated and start pounding on the keyboard, going with what AI gave me. The stories would turn darkly surreal as the knights all turned to porn, weed and video games*. There was no point in doing anything else.

My Close

Men are uniquely inspired by women. Without that inspiration, that drive, we can slide into sloth and self-indulgence. I can see that in several of our sons' friends.

Women need the romantic attention of men and are driven to become mothers. If they reach their mid-30s alone and childless, they can despair about their lives. I've seen that in several young ladies who are friends of ours.

The Arthurian Legends are timeless classics because they speak basic truths about the roles men and women play in each others' lives. These are primal and natural roles, not social constructs. As I struggled to write Arthurian fiction with AI, the nature of these roles and the pain and suffering that comes with their loss became apparent to me in ways much deeper than I've expressed in this series.

* - This being Ye Olden Times, all they had was the Nintendo 64.

Other Posts in this Series

Recapping recent blog posts, here's where we are so far:

• Classically beautiful and feminine women are a rarity these days.
• Romance is founded upon the biological differences between women and men. The more you deny and minimize those, the less romance you will have.
• Whatever cultural changes we've been making, they are in opposition to evolution and are not driven by natural, Darwinian forces.
• Our younger generations are less happy, more lonely and deeper in debt.
• We are told to believe that ugly is beautiful.
• We aren't just denying sexual reality, we are fighting against it.
• Young women are being deeply injured by this.
• Many of our institutions have become incompetent because of this.
• There isn't a government solution for it.
• Angry, bitter women are sabotaging the lives of other women.
• The effort to spread the acceptance of sexual degeneracy is harming romance.
• We are all being harmed by the cultural shift away from romance.
• The changes in our culture are not hypersexual, they are hyposexual.
• There are plenty of parasites feeding on our unhappiness and dysfunction.
• Women's boxing in the 2024 Olympics is blowing up feminist delusions.
• AI is the avatar of our modern culture and it cannot write Arthurian, romantic fiction.
• The need for chivalrous men is innate to women.
• Women preserved the Arthurian legends because they spoke to their lives.
• The people who have shaped our culture are insulated from the primal realities of life.