Aussie Boys, Sheilas And Inclusivity In The Classroom

 OK, here we go with excerpts from my ChatGPT story. I spent a couple of hours this morning playing with ChatGPT and ended up with the sections below. The setting is a small American town and the two Aussie lads are straight out of a 1950s family TV show, with obvious alterations. Imagine if a bunch of the characters from a wholesome, old-school Disney family movie were transplanted into a modern grade school. The kids are 7th or 8th graders.

This part is mostly expository dialog, setting up things for later.

Enjoy.

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"There's somethin' fishy goin' on at the professor's house, mate," said Bobby with his rich, Australian accent.

"Yeah, it's a bit sus if you ask me. I reckon he's got some secrets he's tryna keep hidden," replied his older brother, Edgar.

"Not half as strange as that bloke in the library wearin' a Quinceañera dress and caked in heavy makeup. What a bloody wanker," said Bobby.

"Aw, gross, mate. I don't know what kinda sick stuff he's into, but it ain't right. Gives me the shivers," replied Edgar, sounding disgusted.

"He looked like that weird critter we saw down in Coober Pedy before we came to America. Remember, Ed? The one that made us sick to our stomachs," said Bobby.

"Yeah, I remember. Poor thing was lyin' there in the hot sun, all dried up and dead. Just like that bloke in the library, he's dead to the world," replied Edgar, making a comparison to the strange animal they had seen.

"That's a right shame, mate. The animal didn't deserve that, but that fella might be a different thing. Someone oughta give him a good knockin', if you ask me," said Bobby.

"I hear ya, man. We can't let him keep gettin' away with handlin' the toddlers at the library. It's just not right," replied Edgar, feeling angry about the situation.

"Say, have you seen that new sheila, Kathy, at school? She's a real ripper, mate," said Edgar.

"Yeah, mate, I have. I reckon I'm sweet on her. I wanna tell her how I feel, but I'm a bit of a coward," replied Bobby, sounding nervous.

"Aw, don't be a drongo, mate. You gotta go for it. She could be a top chick, for all you know," said Edgar, trying to give his mate some encouragement.

"I don't know, Ed. I don't wanna cop a rejection," said Bobby, sounding worried.

"Fair dinkum, mate. But you'll never know if you don't give it a burl. And who knows, she could be as keen as mustard," replied Edgar, giving his mate a bit of a pep talk.

"Okay, you're right. I'll give it a crack. I'll tell her how I feel," said Bobby, feeling a bit more confident.

The boys mounted their bicycles and began to pedal home.

"Edgar, have you noticed that all the other blokes at school are always talkin' about porn? It's a bit of a joke, if you ask me," said Bobby.

"I know, right? They're a bunch of galahs, the lot of 'em. Can't get any real action, so they resort to watchin' it on a screen. They're not exactly top-notch, if you know what I mean," replied Edgar, sounding unimpressed.

"I don't get it, mate. What's so great about watchin' that stuff? They're a bunch of flamin' drongos if you ask me," said Bobby, sounding annoyed.

"Fair dinkum, mate. It's just sad. They're not worth our time. We're better than those muppets," replied Edgar, his tone contemptuous.

"I hear ya, Ed. They're just a bunch of gutless wonders. We're the real deal, mate," said Bobby, sounding determined.

"Spot on, mate. We're the real deal. They're just a bunch of sad sacks," replied Edgar, giving his mate some support.

They pedaled on in silence for a while. Then, Edgar spoke up.

"What about that new redneck family who moved into town? They've got some pretty impressive tools," said Edgar.

"Yeah, mate, I have. They've got everything from power saws to welding torches. I wish I had half the stuff they do," replied Bobby, sounding envious.

"I know, right? And have you seen the stuff they're building? It's like they can make anything out of nothin'," said Edgar, sounding impressed.

"Yeah, they're always building something. I reckon they're real handy blokes. We could learn a thing or two from them," said Bobby, sounding thoughtful.

"You're not wrong, mate. They're not like the rest of the losers in this town. They know how to get things done," replied Edgar, admiring the redneck boys.

"I hear ya, Ed. I reckon we should go over there and check out their stuff. Maybe we could even learn somethin'," said Bobby, feeling excited.

"Good idea, mate. We'll go over there and see if they can teach us a thing or two," replied Edgar, feeling just as enthusiastic.

"Hey, do you reckon we could teach those redneck boys a thing or two about boxing?" said Bobby, sounding curious.

"I don't see why not, mate. We're pretty handy in the ring, if I do say so myself," replied Edgar, sounding confident.

"I reckon they'd be up for it. I mean, they look pretty tough, but we could show 'em what real boxing's all about," said Bobby, feeling excited.

"I agree, mate. We could show 'em some moves and techniques. Maybe even train 'em a bit," replied Edgar, sounding interested.

"That's a good idea, Ed. They look like they could use a bit of guidance in the ring," said Bobby, feeling excited.

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"Good morning class, today we're going to talk about inclusivity. It's important to be accepting and welcoming of everyone, regardless of their race, gender, or religion," began the teacher in a kind, but firm tone.

"We must ensure that everyone feels safe and respected in our classroom. It's not okay to use hurtful words or make fun of someone because of their differences. We must celebrate diversity, and recognize that our differences make us unique and special," she continued.

"We all have different backgrounds, beliefs, and experiences, and it's important to listen to one another and learn from each other. We must be open to new ideas and perspectives, and embrace the beauty of our differences," she said, her voice rising with passion.

Edgar raised his hand and said, "Excuse me, miss. I just wanted to say that I really reckon Catholic theology is tops, especially how it's based on biology. It's fair dinkum logic."

Bobby then spoke up, "And I reckon it's bonza to recognize that not all people of colour have the same views on everything. Like the Muslims, for example, who have a fair dinkum logical and reasonable basis for their rejection of homosexuality."

The teacher's expression shifted to one of horror. "I'm sorry, but I have to stop you right there. We cannot condone bigotry or intolerance of any kind in this classroom," she said sternly, her voice firm.

Edgar chimed in, "But miss, ain't we supposed to be fair dinkum inclusive of everyone, even if their views don't line up with ours?"

Bobby nodded in agreement, "And if we're supposed to be accepting of everyone, then wouldn't that include the Catholics and the Muslims, even if we don't always agree with them?"

The teacher took a deep breath and replied, "Yes, inclusivity means accepting and respecting everyone, even if their beliefs differ from our own. But we must also remember that inclusivity does not extend to harmful or oppressive beliefs that seek to marginalize or harm others."

The boys looked at each other and smirked. "So, miss, if inclusivity means accepting everyone, doesn't that mean you have to include the Catholics and the Muslims, even if you don't agree with them?" asked Bobby, a hint of mischief in his voice.

Edgar couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, you can't exactly be inclusive and exclude a couple of billion people around the world, can ya?" he said with a grin.

The teacher's face flushed with anger. "That's enough, both of you! You're being disrespectful and disruptive. If you don't stop this behavior right now, I will have to refer you to the principal's office," she said sternly.

Despite the teacher's warning, Bobby and Edgar couldn't help but feel frustrated with her inability to acknowledge their point. As they returned to their work, they muttered under their breath about the teacher's lack of logical argument.

"I can't believe she couldn't see the bloody flaw in her own argument," grumbled Edgar.

Bobby nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it's like she's just spouting off all this PC crap without actually thinking about what it means," he said with a roll of his eyes.

The boys couldn't help but feel a sense of superiority over their teacher's inability to keep up with their critical thinking skills.

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Kathy listened carefully to Bobby's rational arguments, her eyes intently focused on him. As he spoke, she felt her heart beating faster and faster, and she couldn't help but feel drawn to him.

She had always been drawn to Augustinian theology, but she had never had the courage to mention it on Instagram. Now, listening to Bobby, she felt like she had found someone with whom she could discuss "Confessions" and the teachings of Augustine.

As the discussion ended and class resumed, Kathy found herself glancing over at Bobby more and more often, feeling a sense of excitement and curiosity growing inside of her. She couldn't wait to talk to him more about theology, and to see where their discussions might lead.

In addition to being drawn to Bobby's intellect and theological knowledge, Kathy couldn't help but notice his well-defined muscles. As she listened to him speak, she found herself admiring the way his biceps flexed under the fabric of his shirt.

She felt a sense of attraction to him that went beyond just his mind and his spiritual beliefs. There was something about his physical presence that made her heart skip a beat.

As class ended and Bobby walked out of the room, Kathy lingered behind for a moment, lost in thought. She knew that her feelings for him were growing stronger with each passing day, and she couldn't wait to explore this new attraction further.

Kathy couldn't help but feel conflicted about her growing feelings for Bobby. As a devout Catholic, she was well-versed in the teachings of Matthew 5:27-28, which warned against the dangers of lust and adultery.

She wondered if her attraction to Bobby was a violation of these teachings, and if her thoughts and feelings were sinful in the eyes of the Church. She knew she needed guidance and advice, and contemplated stopping by St. Gorgonia's to talk to Father Chukwuma about it.

As she walked to the church, her mind raced with questions and concerns. She wondered if she was doing something wrong, and if her desires for Bobby were in conflict with her faith.

When she arrived at the church, she entered the confessional and poured out her heart to Father Chukwuma.

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The Nigerian priest listened patiently as Kathy poured out her heart to him, but since she visited him multiple times a week, he couldn't help but feel exhausted and overwhelmed.

This was her fourth visit this week and it was only Tuesday. As the redheaded Irish girl continued to talk, Father Chukwuma found himself nodding along, but his mind was elsewhere. He couldn't help but feel drained by her constant need for guidance and reassurance.

Father Chukwuma cleared his throat and thought for a moment. He knew that Kathy needed to do some spiritual reflection, but he also wanted to give himself a break from her frequent visits. So, he came up with a plan.

"As penance for your sins, Kathy, I want you to read "The Exegesis of Transpositional Graces" by Father Howard Wilcox," he said sternly, his voice laced with authority.

Kathy looked surprised but nodded obediently. "Yes, Father. I will do that," she replied.

Father Chukwuma smiled to himself, convinced that no one on Earth, Father Wilcox included, had any idea at all what that impenetrable book said. He hoped that it would keep Kathy too busy to bother him with her constant visits.

"Very well. You may go now, Kathy. I absolve you of your sins, whatever they are," he said with a hint of exasperation in his voice. His honesty with the girl surprised him. He had unintentionally revealed that he hadn't heard a word she'd said. In his own defense, he figured it couldn't possibly have been all that different than her confession this morning before school, although he had no idea what that was about, either.

Kathy nodded and left the confessional, eagerly searching for a source for the text on her smartphone. A confirmed bibliophile, she limited her searches to hardbound editions.

Father Chukwuma had assigned "The Exegesis of Transpositional Graces" to Kathy as a way to keep her busy and away from his confessional. He had tried to read the book himself and found it hopelessly dense and impossible to comprehend. Father Wilcox loved big words and complicated sentences and used them in profusion even when he didn't have anything to say. 

Father Chukwuma couldn't stand books like that even when they made sense. The dry, academic language made him feel like he was wading through mud. 

It was the perfect thing for Kathy. That girl was the grade-schooler equivalent of an African Rock Python. It felt like every visit was a constriction of her spiritual coils around him, slowly squeezing the life out of his soul. He loved her dearly, but she was a constant trial for him. What she really needed, he thought, was a boyfriend. He wondered if that was what she had been on about in the confessional.