Climate Change Caused The Current Iraq Crisis

As we all know, the descent of Iraq into Islamofascist chaos is not the fault of President Obama. If his predecessors had not been so stupid, none of this would be happening and the Iraqis would be living lives of personal fulfillment, taking classes in critical race and gender theory at their local community colleges and building renewable energy systems out of recycled, organic materials. It is a well-known fact that President Obama is the first occupant of the White House not to inherit a perfectly stable world that required no American effort to keep peace and prosperity flowing in the form of water and fertilizer to golf course fairways and greens.

Since we cannot affix the blame with President Obama, who or what can we blame? Global Warming Climate Change, of course! It all started in the Uruk Period, around 3500 BC. "(C)ommentators have associated the end of the Uruk period with the climate changes." Because subsequent American administrations failed to deal with climate change and show sufficient sensitivity towards diversity, things went progressively downhill until we got to where we are today, a kinetic disturbance in reaction to an Internet video American imperialism.

It was all there, written out plainly, but Chimpy McBushitler and his gang of oil-looting murderers were too busy looting oil and murdering to notice.