Naturally, the initiative required the appointment of a "coordinator for respect", along with a generous salary of salary "somewhere between £75,000 and £159,000."Can't you just imagine the agony that must accompany each and every communication from that office? Every last possible meaning from every sentence and every word would have to be reviewed time and time again to prevent anyone from ever taking any offense from any component. It would be like Emily Post on LSD.
A coordinator wasn't enough. The UK also needed a "Respect Taskforce", along with a mountain of home office reeducation literature. The objective of the initiative was a "transformation of British manners".
Hilaaaaaarious!
2 comments:
Tack on another £850,000 for a UK-wide license of Aretha's single for ad campaigns. You know they're gonna do it.
And of course, the Coordinator for Respect has to have enforcement powers. So we get . . . (wait for it) The Respect Police!
Respect Police Officer: You vill respect each ozzer or ve vill punish you for not showing sufficient respect!
Hapless Victims: Oy, that ain't very respectful, mate!
Respect Police Officer: (striking Victim with truncheon) Quiet, you! Show some respect!
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