A Renewable Resource for Peace

Here at The Scratching Post, we’re all about slavish obedience to our blog masters. Stoptheaclu and the Alliance send the commands and we leap into action!

The Alliance has asked, “What underutilized resources could we apply towards winning the War on Terror?” Fortunately for us, Stoptheaclu has provided the answer.

The answer is conspiracy theories!

Just look at the stoptheaclu post. A group of people has put off grocery shopping, mowing the lawn and fixing the sink to make signs and march because they’re afraid that a bunch of civil servants are spying on them. Can you imagine what that would look like if it were really happening? Large-scale spying would require a huge organization.

Imagine the DMV or CALTRANS carrying out domestic surveillance. Dozens of people standing around with orange vests and surly attitudes taking endless coffee breaks and telling each other that this or that wasn’t their department. They’d be fumbling around with antiquated equipment trying to listen in on some moonbat’s conversation with the phone company where said moonbat was trying to delay paying their bill as they had spent all their money making signs for the protest.

I once heard a young man on Michael Medved’s show discuss a book he had written claiming that the 2004 election had been stolen by rigged electronic voting machines. He had all kinds of circumstantial evidence that, taken at face value, strongly suggested a conspiracy. Just the slightest understanding of politicians and software showed this to be idiocy. The people running our political parties aren’t smart enough to be given the pointy scissors, much less rig a computer system that undergoes all manner of IV&V. The author thought he was marketing his book while all the time he was telling us what a moron he was.

What is the result of conspiracy theories? Fear. Paranoia. Paranoid people take no chances. Any risky behavior could lead to incarceration or worse. Mustn’t make waves or stand out. They will see you. They will get you. Live a quiet, ordinary life. Discuss the conspiracy with your comrades in secret code. Tell each comrade a slightly different story, just in case they are working for them.

Protest? I think not. They are watching. Their cameras are everywhere! The unblinking eyes of their robotic minions are all around!

Riot? Hardly. The stormtroopers are massed just around the corner, awaiting a signal from them to rush in and bludgeon all who oppose The New World Order / Halliburton / The Zionists / K T Cat. (The latter is true. Link to our blog or you will regret it.)

Just think of a world where more people are strongly motivated by the dark fears that come from a belief in these conspiracies. No one would dare cause problems. It would look like we were all living with Ozzie and Harriet. It could be even blander still, like My Three Sons.

There you have it. Conspiracy theories. A renewable resource for peace. If you don’t agree, leave a comment and your current location. We would like to know.

Postscript