Yesterday, I had a chance to get some osprey time as I hung out with a famous birder who's actually got a published book on the subject. It's a real book on paper and everything and not just a self-published Kindle thingy, too. So cool. Anyway, there we were, watching an osprey nest when the whole scene came into focus as clear as the Bush Administration's use of explosive charges to bring down the Twin Towers and fill the pockets of the Koch Brothers with profits squeezed from the 99%.
The oppressive heteronormative patriarchy of ospreys was all around me. Dig the scenes I caught on camera.
|Here, the female osprey is deprived of any career opportunities and is forced to sit on the nest. The look of despair and depression is painted all over her face.
|Nearby, the male osprey watches her to make sure she isn't reading any subversive books or talking to other female ospreys about their common bond of oppressed osprey sisterhood. He's probably also drunk.
Something has got to change out there in the marshlands of New Jersey. I mean, this is the 21st Century! We're so beyond this. The first thing we need is birth control for ospreys so the females aren't controlled by their reproductive systems any more. Once they've achieved their goals as career ospreys, we can work on the LGBT issues.
First things first, though. What we need is a Sandra Fluke of the osprey world.