As my tobacco dries in the rafters of the Catican, the pressure builds to construct a fermenter. If you've not been keeping up with the story, I grew tobacco, harvested it and am now drying it. I don't smoke or chew, this is just a lark inspired by
a Hank Williams Jr. song.
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"We make our own whiskey and our own smoke, too. Ain't too many things these ol' boys can't do." |
After drying, the tobacco needs to be fermented in a hot and humid place. There are lots of instructions for building a fermenter using a heat lamp, a thermostat and a portable cooler like the ones you take camping or on picnics. It looks like a big pain and a fire hazard. Heat lamps and Styrofoam in close quarters? No, thank you.
What is it we're trying to do? We want chemical reactions to occur. They happen when the temperature is around 120 F and there's plenty of moisture in the air. I don't see why the temperature has to be consistent. If you need 3 weeks of heat, which is 504 hours, why can't you achieve it in ten hour increments? If the temperature drops, it just means the chemical reaction is suspended temporarily.
You can make this happen using the Chamber of Doom.
Back in the day, my favorite plant, Momma Daisy, suffered a massive scale infestation. I bought a 33 gallon trashcan, put a glass lid on it and put lit candles inside. The candles were supposed to use up the oxygen and the scale would, over time, asphyxiate. Momma Daisy would emerge refreshed from her hot and humid spa treatment.
She did indeed emerge refreshed, but most likely it was because the scale were smothered in the resulting heat. The glass top turned the trash can into a greenhouse. The temperature got so hot that it melted the candles.
Bingo.
If I can make a greenhouse trashcan for my tobacco, I can ferment it without any fire risk. Plus, it will not add to my carbon footprint and contribute to
Global Warming Climate Change.
I mean except for my trip to Home Depot to get the gear, the plastics in the trashcan, the manufacture and shipping of the glass, the ... Well, you get the picture. I won't mention those things when I show it off to my green friends. They're gullible enough to think the whole thing very Greta Thunbergian.
Anywho, I'm going to get started on this today. I found a
lovely digital humidity and temperature monitor which tracks highs and lows that I can get from Home Depot. I'll set up the trashcan with a water container at the bottom and then check the monitor each evening, resetting the readings after recording the results. If we can hit 120 F or higher, I think we have a winner.
At any rate, since I have never consumed tobacco, when I'm done and smoke the stuff, I won't have any idea whether it's good or not. I'll claim success and move on to my next Dixie recreation effort, growing cotton. Winning, y'all!