Monday, May 06, 2013

Being An Alpha Guy Seems Like A Lot Of Work

... when you could be listening to Ratt in the garage while rewiring your MGB right before you come inside to eat the delicious Mustard And Herb Crusted Rack Of Lamb that your wonderful, devoutly Catholic and sexy wife has prepared for you.

Secondary intro: I promise I will never talk about quitting blogging again. This guy is a gold mine. If I did nothing but react to his stuff, I could string this out for the rest of my life with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.

The meat of the matter: Alpha Game Plan (AGP), the blog linked above, is an unending paean to a man's groin. All the beauty and complexity of life is reduced to the pursuit of getting laid. I'm not sure what the Alpha in the title refers to, although the author seems to think it has something to do with being a man.

He's confused.

His latest post is about a woman who complains in an online forum that her boyfriend of three years makes $650K, but won't share it with her although he has taken her on a vacation in France. Vox, the blogger at AGP, treats the poor girl like a gold digger and takes up the guy's case as if he was some kind of victim. My response to him would be somewhat different.

Geeze, dude, you've been dallying with the chick for three years. A man should strive to be decisive. Three months in, you ought to be using your dates as an indirect interview for marriage or setting her free.
If you can't figure out which end is up after 3 years, you're not an alpha, you're a toad.
As for the "lots of work" part of this post's title, dig AGP's Sixteen Commandments. I got tired just reading them. Here are a few.
  1. Make her jealous, 
  2. Keep her guessing, 
  3. Only give her 2/3 of what she gives you, 
  4. Always keep two girls on the side and
  5. Be irrationally self-confident.
Umm, can I just go back out into the garage? I want to grab a Newcastle and work on my MGB. Keep her guessing? Who has time for that? And just what am I gaining here? Keep two chicks on the side? Do I have to? How much time do I have to devote to my conquests? I really want to watch the Sunderland-Stoke game today and I'd rather not be taking Suzy out to lunch so I can string her along as a backup to Cindy.

Vox, it's just sex. Seriously. I mean it's important and all and it's a prime motivator for men, but really, it's just sex. If you want to be an Alpha Man instead of whatever it is you're an alpha of, then pursue a single woman and strive to be worthy of her love as a man. Don't worry about your groin. Wherever you go, it will come along, too.

Trust me on this.


Anonymous said...

If I was wearing a hat, I'd take it off to you. Bravo for a great post and telling it like it is.

K T Cat said...

Here in the Catican, we have plenty of hats for just that purpose. They can be rented by the hour or by the day at very reasonable rates.


Thanks for the very kind words.

tim eisele said...

"Vox", eh? Would this be "Vox Day", by any chance? I've heard a number of people talk about him, not usually in a good way.

Foxfier said...

When the pickup artist guys start in on social issues, I feel the urge to smack 'em away from sharing a few views with me.

I'll stick with my guy.