Monday, September 26, 2016

A Drinking Game For The Debate

... and it's for the debaters, not for me. I'm going to be watching the Saints - Falcons game.

Here's the game:
  • Hillary takes a shot every time she lies.
  • Trump takes a shot every time he says something ignorant.
They'd both be blacked out within half an hour. The best part would be to see what happens when Hillary hits about #7 or so as the alcohol interacts with her anti-seizure medication. Before long, she'd be reciting Das Kapital in Urdu. After that, she'd be flopping around on the ground like a fish on a dock. Meanwhile, Trump would be slumping over his podium repeating "Trusht me, we're gonna be winning. So mush winning."

That's still not worth watching. Even if the Saints get trounced.

Bonus Tidbit

Here's a proposed question for Hillary: Is Harambe part of the rape culture?

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Crouching Tiger, Sleeping Chihuahua

I'm guessing our Maximum Leader was crouching somewhere. Since she loves to hunt birds in our garden, it's a good bet she was crouching. As for the smallest Catican Guard, well, she was doing what Chihuahuas love to do. Sleep under the covers where its warm.

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Love For The Divorced

I attended the Diocesan Synod on Marriage and the Family today. I'm tired and brain-drained, but joyful. It's wonderful to be part of a team that's working to help those going through divorce find healing, love and acceptance.

Regular blogging resumes tomorrow, some of it with things I learned today. Right now, I need a beer.

Friday, September 23, 2016

How The Iranian Negotiations Went Down

So we sent Iran planeloads of cash and gold. Literally, cash and gold, like some kind of drug deal payoff. I've started wondering what the negotiations looked like from the Iranian point of view. After decades of being told to pound sand by American diplomats, they finally got to sit across the table from a set obsessed with making a deal. Any deal. I'm guessing it went something like this.

John Kerry: And now, we'd like to negotiate the repayment of your frozen assets.

Iranian negotiator Mohammed: You'd what?!?

Kerry: We'd like to negotiate the repayment of your frozen assets.

Iranian negotiator Achmed: Yes, yes, of course! (Silently kicking himself for seeming so eager.)

Kerry: How much would you like?

Mohammed to Achmed quietly: Quick, Achmed, what's the biggest number you can think of?

Achmed (blurting out): Err, one point seven billion dollars!

Kerry: That sounds fine.

Kerry wanders out of the room, smugly proud at what a great negotiator he is.

Mohammed and Achmed as they do a double face palm, realizing they could have gotten anything they wanted: Argh! We asked for too little!

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Living In A World Of Mousetraps And Ping Pong Balls

Imagine that the Black Lives Matters protesters are ping pong balls perched on cocked mousetraps in an enclosed space. Imagine that a cop shooting a black man, armed or not, justified or not, is a ping pong ball dropped into that enclosed space. Imagine that you're in that enclosed space, neither a ping pong ball nor perched on a cocked mousetrap. You're just some tiny dude, maybe 1/10 the size of a ping pong ball, trying to survive.

The riots that are now commonplace following any police shooting would look like this to you.


Living in a world of cocked mousetraps is frightening. Now that it's starting to happen reliably (Milwaukee, Charlotte, whatever), it's pretty apparent that the progressives have gotten everyone primed through racial grievance-mongering. Who knows where it's going to happen next. Not many Confederate flags in Milwaukee, so don't think being north of the Mason-Dixon line is going to save you.

The analogy works further as the original ping pong ball, the cop, isn't trying to set off a destructive chain reaction. It's just doing what ping pong balls normally do. In fact, in the absence of the cocked mousetraps, i.e. the racial grievance culture, a falling ping pong ball would only disturb a few of the other ones.

Finally, anyone miniature wandering around in the enclosure has nothing to do with any of it. They're just caught up in the maelstrom that wasn't there yesterday, but today is sweeping through the city.

Just a silly metaphor that popped into my head. Enjoy?

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Chris Hayes Gives Us The Strangest Tweet Of The Week

 Dig this bit from MSNBC genius Chris Hayes on reluctance to bring Muslim immigrants and illegal aliens into the country. It may be the strangest thing I've seen in a month.
There's so much to unpack here. I don't have the time to work it into a cohesive essay, so let's just go with a numbered list. This is so fundamentally flawed that I'm sure I'm missing plenty, so feel free to add your own thoughts in the comments.

  1. First off, he's comparing Trump to Hitler. A big government, strong man racist, Trump's got a lot going for him. However, Hillary has all that as well as does the entire Democratic Party, so I'm not sure where calling someone a Nazi is going to lead other than all of us donning our brown shirts and marching around. On the other hand, Hitler was more race-positive than race-negative and none of our current political figures are that. That is, Hitler was obsessed with the German race. His hatred was for those who obstructed der volk, not the sort of pandering racism of Trump and the Democrats. The analogy doesn't work at its most basic level.
  2. Violence all around the world is driven almost entirely by Muslims and almost not at all by Jews. I can't remember the last time there was internecine Jewish conflict like what's going on in Syria. The thought of it is ludicrous. Comparing Jews and Muslims is just silly.
  3. Did Chris think to ask any real Muslims what they thought of being compared to Jews, the sons of pigs and apes? It's in the Suras, for crying out loud.
  4. Did Chris think to ask any real Jews what they thought of being compared to Muslims? Maybe he could have interviewed some refugees from Islamic anti-Semitism as they fled parts of Europe.
The last two are the strangest for me and they illustrate the utter vacuum at the heart of open-minded, tolerant multiculturalism. Chris sees everyone as blobs of clay which just happen to be different colors. Sure, they are different colors, but they're still clay. Pieces of clay can be mashed together with ease. You might change the color of the blob, but it's still clay. To Chris, there is nothing distinct about any of them. They're just tokens in his political game, like pieces on a Risk board.

Equating Jews and Muslims has to be the ultimate in cultural ignorance. It's inconceivable that anyone with any kind of appreciation for the two cultures would do this. When you stop and think about it, multiculturalism isn't multi-cultural at all, it's unicultural. There are no meaningful differences between philosophies, religions, ethnicities or nationalities, there is only humanity, governed by whatever it is Chris and his buddies come up with today*. The rest of us are just blobs of clay.

Ironically, he's practicing what my faith, Catholicism, teaches. We are all made in the image of God and God loves us all equally so we should love each other. The difference is that I am required to respect you and how you're different. I am supposed to work to understand your point of view and appreciate it. He doesn't even know that you have a point of view.

* - Today, it's cisgenderism.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Air Turbulence: Am I Going To Die?

I've flown a lot for work. I'm pretty relaxed in the air, although I never like going over the ocean. If something happens in the middle of the Pacific, you're just screwed. Many times, I've sat there and tried to map out how long it would take rescue ships to reach you if there was a water landing an hour outside of Hawaii or San Diego. The answer: too long.

Turbulence bothers me, too. I prefer the window seat, so when we hit air pockets, I've got a perfect view of the wings flexing. I know the engineering is sound, but the primitive part of my brain is running in circles, screaming in panic. "Are they supposed to bend like that? How much does it take to snap them off?" The answer: quite a bit. In fact, a lot more than you'll ever experience.

Here's a good article on aircraft testing. Below is a video showing wing stress tests where the wing finally snaps at 154% of its design rating. The real bending starts around 1:40.


So fly in relaxed comfort, my friends. Thanks to the math, physics and engineering discoveries of Christian Europeans*, the elements aren't going to bring you down.

* - Yes, I had to get that in. ;-)