Tuesday, July 07, 2020

On Giving Up

My brother-in-law, Chuck, succumbed to cancer yesterday. From diagnosis to death was about 6 weeks. He wasn't in good shape before the diagnosis so his body wasn't well-prepared to handle the chemo. In the end, the chemo did nothing and it spread to his liver and stomach. He was uncomfortable, but not in tremendous pain when he passed.

Visiting him during his decline, it reminded me of both of my parents and, so help me, little Pepito, our ancient chihuahua who we recently had to put down. In all cases, living became exhausting. Death was a relief. In no case did the patient fight all that hard to keep going. Chuck was the only one of the four with cancer, but the final declines seemed similar.

I've heard that those who fight disease and decline last the longest and I guess this supports that notion.

Rest in peace, Chuck.


Ohioan@Heart said...

Condolences from Mrs Ohioan and me.

Unknown said...

So very sorry for your loss.

K T Cat said...

Thanks, all.

IlĂ­on said...

I'm sorry for your loss.

On the "giving up", or, perhaps better put, "letting go" --

It seems to me that people (and possibly pets) find it easier to "let go" when they don't feel like they're dying alone.

My twice-widowed aunt moved back to our hometown after her husband died. Her only child (with her first husband) had died as a child, so she was "alone". With her husband gone, she had no reason to continue: she wanted to go ... and she was afraid to go (my mother's family weren't particularly religious).

At some point, my aunt had a mild stroke, and called an ambulance (of course) ... and then tried to get my sisters to help her commit suicide!

It seemed to me that she both wanted to die and was terrified of dying. Or, at any rate, was terrified of dying alone, with no one at her side.