Thursday, March 17, 2016
One point that stuck with me the most was that Jesus was infinite God becoming finite, in part, so we could understand Him. It made me see the Old Testament in a new light. Had I been born a Jew before Christ, the concept of God would have been as impersonal as the constellations. God would be a cosmic being of incomprehensible size and power.
He still is, of course, but the gift of Jesus gives us a humanity with which we can relate easily. Like Spock said in Errand Of Mercy about the Organians, it's there to give us a convenient frame of reference.
This is a long, slow, narrative arc to bring me to my hour of insomnia last night. The Catican Guards sleep with us, usually tucked in against us. I lay there, around 2 AM last night, trying to pray and meditate to resume sleep while I stroked one of the dogs.
I tried to lose myself in the act of giving her love. I imagined what was happening inside her furry, little head, pleasure centers being stimulated, anxiety levels dropping and her happiness as full as a chihuahua's can be. I tried to stop existing and instead felt myself as an extension of her, there only to please her. My sleep didn't matter, only that hers was as content as possible.
I thought of Adrienne's book and our infinite God. Reaching out to someone else, even a little dog, is an act of extending yourself beyond yourself. Through love of others, you touch the infinity of God and become part of His desire. Sometimes when I sleep, I let a hand rest on my wife to show her that I love her and I'm there with her. It's the same kind of thing.
It occurred to me that in sin we shrink. That is, the Universe ceases to exist and we are all that matters. With porn or booze or anger, our view of the world collapses in upon itself and others fade to insignificance. The world becomes as small as it can be.
In love, we touch infinity. In selfishness, we shrink to a point.