Saturday, February 01, 2014

Let's Face It, Being An Insurgent Is More Fun

I've got some blog posts percolating around discussing the Grammys with Beyonce desperate for male attention in her thong teddy, yakking about the government infrastructure coming down like a ton of bricks on Little Sisters of the Poor and a total meatball served by my buddies at the Monastery of Miscellaneous Musings.
To tell you the truth, I'm not in the mood for that. I've got a Firestone Union Jack past my molars and am working on a Newcastle Brown. The lads lost to hated Sunderland today, but that was no surprise having sold their best player, Yohan Cabaye, because their owner uses the team like an ATM*. (For the love of God, why can't we have an owner whose mortal sin is Pride instead of Greed?) Anyways, I'm feeling pretty good and would have a hard time besting beloved Renee or Sister Clare without strong doses of caffeine when it comes to moral scoldery.

So let's see what we can do fortified with such as we are.

Soon, if not already, Christians across the US will realize that we're the counter-cultural insurgency. The hedonists have ... what? A "war on women" whose goal is to get government-subsidized insurance conglomerates to pay for their Drospirenone so they can get pronged by guys who live with their parents? Yeah, you guys are really on the cutting edge of social revolution. You're sticking it to the Man! Err, actually, the man is sticking it to you.


Those of us on the side of prudery are the real hipsters. We're the ones who are really flipping off the System. We're Jack Kerouac, Bob Dylan, Hunter S. Thompson, we're freaking Sid Viscious. You? You're Robert Young from Father Knows Best. You're squaresville. You're oatmeal without raisins.

Yep, the cross is coming down of Mt. Soledad. People are losing their businesses for the sake of their faith. Nuns are getting persecuted by the government.

This is going to be fun. After all, we've got the cool music.

You've got this. If songs about verbal porn are the best you can do, you're screwed.

* - Newcastle's season went from something magical to something dreadful with the loss of Cabaye. Instead finishing in the top 7 and going to the Europa tournament next year with fantasies of Champions League (top 4), we'll be lucky to finish 15th. Even the San Diego Padres wouldn't do that. Pathetic.

1 comment:

Rose said...

We are indeed the rebels. :)