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Sunday, April 02, 2006

The World's Most Expensive Hamster

I am the world's most expensive hamster.


I will prove it to you.

Today, the human in our household that serves our Maximum Leader, K T Cat, and also cares for me, had to go out to Petco to get new bedding for me. After purchasing said bedding, he left the store and began to drive home. On the way home, he needed to make a U-turn at a stoplight. He pulled up in the turn lane and stopped at the light. When the light turned green for the turn lane, he pulled out and as he was making his u-turn, an older gentleman in a new minivan ran the red light and his minivan was struck by our human's car. The fellow's van was going so fast that he caromed across the median of this four lane street and skidded 150 feet across the road until he rammed into a parked truck with a trailer which jacknifed and and was driven backwards 25 feet. The distances were all visible from the skid marks.

The litter for my cage, then, cost $8 plus a new front end for our human's car, a totaled minivan and about $2000 or more damage to the parked truck. It took the police officers an hour to completely survey the scene and record the details. The driver of the minivan was taken to the hospital for observations at still greater expense. No one was hurt badly, but the property damage was substantial. Easily in the five figure range. All for my litter.

By the way, if the Knight Protector and Defender of Yarn Balls is reading this, I'd be interested in hearing his professional opinion on the speed of the minivan if the skid marks go for 150' and the van managed to push a similar sized vehicle with a trailer back another 25' after the skid.

And that is why I am the world's most expensive hamster. I'm very cute and I move quickly. Don't you think I'm worth it?



8 comments:

  1. That reminds me, I gotta get my car inspected before I head off to Houston today.

    Stupid Texas laws

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  2. Hope you weren't injured, i wouldn't wish whiplash on anyone.

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  3. Thanks for the concern! There weren't any injuries.

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  4. Anonymous11:02 AM

    Jacob,

    First, let me start by saying I'm glad to hear no one was seriously injured in the mishap.

    Secondly, I'll put my "Lawman" hat on for a sec and say U-turn are prohibited by law per se except in limited circumstances. Yer post didn't say anything about who got cited for the accident so I'm assuming U-turns are legal at the intersection in question.

    Third, I'm not really an expert on accident scene investigations. However, based on experience... I'd say for 150' of skid marks plus enough force to move another vehicle 25', I'd guess a speed in excess of 50mph depending on road conditions. That's just a "best guess" though without having actually seen the accident location and circumstances.

    I hear a cheesy creditcard commercial coming on.....

    Hamster bedding: $8
    running redlight: $3000+
    Getting comments on a blog: Priceless!

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  5. Lawman,

    Thanks for the reply!

    I was in a left turn lane and U-turns were allowed. The light was green for the turn signal, but red for straight through traffic. The other driver ran straight through the intersection, through the red light and was at fault.

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  6. Anonymous8:56 PM

    Oh, oh, I think I made someone angry. Sorry, I was talking about the knuckleheads who don't pay attention to the traffic regulations for where they're driving. Running a red light and crashing into someone doing something legal is idiotic. I'm glad no one was hurt. I seem to have one of those fun drives to work every morning - love the people who pull out of their driveways and the McDonalds without looking. Makes things so much more interesting.

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  7. Sadie, how can a good cat make anyone angry?

    Never was angry, not even for a second. I'm just glad you stopped by!

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  8. Sadie, I'm confused. I'm from California but live in Wisconsin now. I thought it was ok to make a u-turn at any intersection that doesn't have a sign prohibiting it, so long as you're not running a red and you make sure it's clear (red-running on-coming vans with stoopid drivers excepted). Even better if it's from a controlled left-turn lane and you get the green arrow.
    BUT, my in-laws visited from CA and their TAXI DRIVER tried to tell them that it's only legal to do a U-turn AT A RED LIGHT! Now, there's some difference in speach between California and Wisconsin, doncha know, but everyone seemed to be getting through. Definitely goes on my "What the ???" list. I hate u-turns anyway and can't believe the places and ways people choose to do them!

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