... may be biochemical as much as it is cultural.
I spent some time this morning chatting with AI*, asking why various stimulant activities might contribute to my own weaknesses with the bottle. The answer it gave was completely in line with what I've experienced in my own life, down to the changes in my emotional states and cravings as the day progresses. It also provided the biochemical reason why practicing self-discipline in one area of your life improves it all areas.
I then asked it to generalize the assessment to include all of the stimulants known to my sons' friends and got something that made me see them in a different way. Here's what it said.
You can’t just quit one and expect the others not to pull you back in. It’s all the same system—the same dopamine loops, the same impulse-driven behaviors. If you stop alcohol but keep indulging in social media, porn, gaming, or marijuana, you’re still feeding the same addiction pathways and keeping yourself vulnerable to relapse.
Why You Have to Quit Everything at Once:
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They All Work Together to Keep You Weak
- Social media scrolling in the morning weakens your focus.
- Video games in the afternoon burn up your willpower.
- Porn drains your dopamine reserves.
- Marijuana dulls your motivation and makes you passive.
- By the time evening rolls around, alcohol is just the final step in the chain.
- If you remove just one but keep indulging in others, you stay in the cycle—just with a different addiction.
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The Brain Doesn’t Distinguish Between Addictions
- Whether it’s porn, gaming, alcohol, weed, or social media, it’s all just dopamine-seeking behavior.
- Your brain doesn’t care how it gets the hit—just that it gets it.
- If you quit drinking but still smoke weed, you’re still relying on artificial dopamine stimulation to regulate your emotions.
- If you stop porn but still play video games for hours, you’re still training your brain to seek artificial pleasure instead of real-world fulfillment.
- Every indulgence weakens you for the next battle.
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Marijuana Makes the Whole Cycle Worse
- Weed makes it easier to binge on everything else—it reduces impulse control, making you more likely to watch porn, scroll social media for hours, or drink.
- It keeps you mentally foggy, so even if you quit alcohol, you’re not operating at full clarity.
- It creates emotional dependence, so instead of dealing with discomfort, you just numb it—just like with alcohol.
What Happens When You Quit Them All?
- Your brain resets. Dopamine sensitivity starts to normalize, meaning you no longer feel like you need constant stimulation.
- You reclaim your willpower. Without cheap dopamine, your ability to resist temptation grows stronger every day.
- You regain real focus. Instead of chasing easy pleasure, you start enjoying deep work, meaningful activities, and real-life rewards.
- You don’t just quit addictions—you change how you live.
The Hard Truth:
You don’t prioritize quitting one thing first—you quit the mindset of indulgence itself. That’s the only way to truly break free.
When I was growing up, we weren't awash in addictive activities like this. Our world was much safer in a biochemical sense. It was easier to grow up with a healthy psyche.
What if there's nothing wrong with the kids, but instead they are growing up marinating in poisonous activities?
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Maybe the good old days really were that good. |
When I hit this part of your posting:
ReplyDelete"If you stop alcohol but keep indulging in social media, porn, gaming, or marijuana"
I was a bit struck by the fact that I don't actually do most of those[*]. And it isn't because of superior willpower, or strong moral fiber, or anything like that. I just don't enjoy them, so I don't do it.
The thing is, I don't think this is as unusual as we are commonly lead to believe. For example, for alcohol use, Gallup regularly runs polls on the subject.
https://news.gallup.com/poll/1582/Alcohol-Drinking.aspx
And among many other things, I am struck by the fact that about 31% of the population simply does not drink alcohol at all, and if you add in the people who only drink on "special occasions" (which basically means, 'when they are socially expected to'), this goes up to 26+31 = 57%, well over half the population.
At the other end, only 25% of the people say that alcohol has been a source of trouble in their family.
And when Gallup asks the reasons for not drinking, 24% of the non-drinkers just say that they have no reason to, another 16% actively dislike the taste/effects enough that they don't do it, with another 13% having had a bad experience with drinking in the past that they don't want to repeat. So 53% of the non-drinkers don't drink just because they don't want to, independent of any concerns about health or morality.
I expect this applies to most of the other things on your list. I mean, if somebody doesn't get any pleasure out of being drunk, why on earth would they enjoy marijuana, porn, or gaming particularly, either?
I guess my point is, most young men probably don't actually *have* a problem. It's just that the ones that *do* have a problem that get all the press. And holding up the people who don't do these things as some sort of moral paragons or people to be emulated is unhelpful, because we aren't tempted by them in the first place. What we really need to do, is figure out what it is about some people's brains that makes them more susceptible to addictive behaviors, and work out how to overcome it.
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*I do some social media, but mainly just reading things like this blog, not the "big social media" like X or Facebook or Instagram or TikTok. I spend more time reading books or doing other things.
https://news.gallup.com/poll/1582/Alcohol-Drinking.aspx
That's a great comment Tim. I would add to it. I've always been this kind of person, but it's only in the last decade or so that it's become acute. That corresponds to the growth of easy sources of dopamine hits listed in this post. For those of us whose cross to bear is loving the party lifestyle, the environment is getting progressively more and more dangerous all the time.
ReplyDeleteSomething else to consider is that if one doesn't get you, the others just might. Maybe booze isn't your thing, but gaming might be. Or social media. If you're a young guy, porn is a massive problem. It's like we're prey animals and the number of different types of predators is continually increasing.