I'm not quite done with The Rational Male, which has its good points. As I've listened, there's been something nagging at me that until now I couldn't identify. This morning, I finally got it. The Rational Male is the book successful, male, fiddler crabs would write if they could write.
That's not so far-fetched if you consider how they could hold a pen in that big claw they've got.
Hahahahaha! Haha. Ha. Err, sorry about that.
The whole book is about getting laid by lots of desirable women. That's it. That's your life's ambition. Nothing transcendent, just lots of sex with cute chicks. No kids, no family, no meaning to your existence, simply technique upon technique, analysis upon analysis, anecdote upon anecdote about how to more reliably get some action. It's well done, considering it's a philosophy tract for members of the Ocypodidae family. It's not quite St. Augustine's The City of God, if you know what I mean.
It's even more shallow than that. In a previous post, I argued that guys without wives and children cannot be alpha males.
In a strictly secular, Darwinist sense, the whole point of being an Alpha is continuing your genetic lineage by siring children and making sure they make it to prominence in adulthood so they can, in turn, become Alphas or mate with Alphas. 100 years from now, a true Alpha will have left his mark on the world in the form of whole platoons of successful progeny.To be fair, the author is a husband and a father and at no point does he suggest you play around on your wife. His book, taken in the most charitable way, shows men how to learn to be men in the world of sexual competition, both with other men and with women who would prefer to control and effectively neuter you.
However, the book does not suggest that being a true alpha, as I describe one, should be your goal. It focuses myopically on a temporarily important part of becoming a man. I would argue that if that training is not leading you to become a leader in you family, community and faith* than it's nothing more than a how-to-manual for male fiddler crabs.
* - I do mean faith, too. The Rational Male is the perfect synthesis of atheist philosophy. It's got none of that utterly synthetic morality-from-evolution trash in it. It is the shallow pursuit of pleasure, mating for the sake of mating. If you listen to it from the perspective of an atheist, it makes complete sense and all of my complaints listed above are irrelevant.
I'm picking on the red pill (alpha male wannabe) guys, but in truth, I find them a lot more appealing than the cringing, wheedling, beta males
ReplyDeleteWell, yeah, but kinda in the sense of "I'd rather be murdered cleanly than in a slow, messy way."
I'd rather not be murdered!
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I think you're accurate.
I don't know. I've had decent conversations with betas. And I think that a clever woman could find a beta with promise and encourage his talents. If I had to choose, I'd rather take on the fellow who knows he's a fixer upper than try to break through the wall of machismo these red pill guys have.
ReplyDeleteThese wannabe alphas are just throwing up a smoke screen (a cloud of Axe body spray) around their insecurities. They're betas, too. Perhaps a definition of alpha male is required. I'd think getting laid isn't the only measure. The language comes largely from animal studies. The dominant (strongest) male enjoys the best mating opportunities. But it becomes more complicated with primates. Likability is a factor, because some troops of monkeys will rebel against an overly aggressive alpha. I would define a human male alpha as one who is respected by his peers and can leverage that into mating opportunities.
Your son's acquaintances who have largely checked out would be somewhere lower on the list than beta, because they're not even seeking to mate.
I'm reminded of a scene in The Wedding Singer in which the skirt-chaser confesses to his friend how meaningless his lifestyle has become.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyJ3HAK71fo
The problem with both the alphas and betas in the PUA theory is that they're not looking for a mate. They're looking to mate.
ReplyDeleteBetas just expect to get it by being "supportive" and "a friend." If folks want that kind of friendship or not, if they actually wanted the "favors" done or not, and "supportive" means being an utter dishrag who will never come out and say if they disagree, but they will do a dead-man-drag style sabotage if they don't actually want to do something. But all they'll say is agreement.
Not to be confused with those that the self-anointed "alphas" declare are betas, which includes pretty much anybody not going along the male slut route. It's flat-out funny to watch someone you're pretty sure has mostly managed to "score" in his own imagination try to diss a guy with four kids and a stable home-life, basically because he's married.
No, thanks, I'll stick with men who are being men; I found my best friend, and I married him. (Although it took a bit of persuading from him that yes, he was serious and no, he wasn't just being nice. According to him, I'm the only one who thinks he's nice. Bah.)
"It is the shallow pursuit of pleasure, mating for the sake of mating."
ReplyDelete*Mating* is the last thing those fools have in mind; it'a about mere f[ornicat]ing (that is to be read as the blunt Anglo-Saxon term).
Elaborating a bit on Foxfier's point, I think what the "red pill" types are missing, is that they are assuming that everyone has the type of sex life that animals have in a herd or pack. Those are the animals where males actively compete to mate with multiple females. And there, you will have the dominant "Alphas" and "Betas", and after the males manage to get the females pregnant, the females are on their own. I suppose some people are like that.
ReplyDeleteBut, for monogamous animals (and for monogamous people, who I suspect are a lot more common than the "red pill"ers are willing to admit), everything is different. There may be some initial competition for mates, but once they pair off, the whole idea of "Alphas" and "Betas" becomes irrelevant. For a monogamous relationship, you need to focus on actions that strengthen your bond, not the actions that make you attractive to people other than your mate. The "red pill" guys are using the wrong model, and so are incapable of actually understanding anyone else.