Have you ever had those times when someone has betrayed you severely? At work, in your family, or maybe a friend? In the past, I hung on to slights like they were life rafts in the middle of the ocean. There was nothing better than righteous fury. It filled my lizard brain with the delightful energy of anger. There wasn't any payoff in it, of course. Whatever the betrayal might have been, it had passed and the job was now to pick up after it, like recovering after a hurricane. Still, I would cling to my status as a Victim of Evil.
I finally realized that whoever betrayed me had chosen that path for a reason that was good enough for them. I had no more control over it than I did the weather. That weather analogy broke my habit of clinging to rage. I felt silly when I realized I was effectively standing outside, atop the ruins of some aspect of my life, yelling at the sky for a hurricane that had passed long ago.
How stupid is that?
It made me feel so ridiculous that I quit the habit then and there.
Hope that helps you in some way.
Don't rebuild, don't plan, don't dream. Just stand outside and yell at the sky for months or even years! |
Well I'm 81 now, letting things like that not bother you kind of goes with the territory. A while ago I read this book on Stoicism, that could help a lot, a bit like Christianity really with less of the supernatural. That's not meant as a criticism, it is what it is.
ReplyDeleteFergot the link!
ReplyDeletehttps://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/0195374614/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1494712951&sr=1-1&keywords=good+life+stoic%5C