"Hello, Superman? I need a rescue, quick!"
"You have reached the Superman rescue hotline. Please stay on the line and Superman will be right with you. You are number 43 in the queue.""ARGH!"
(2 minutes of generic hold music.)
"You have reached the Superman rescue hotline. Please stay on the line and Superman will be right with you. You are number 42 in the queue.""At least it's going down. I wonder if I can hold on long enough."
(2 minutes of generic hold music.)
"You have reached the Superman rescue hotline. Please stay on the line and Superman will be right with you. You are number 40 in the queue."
(2 minutes of generic hold music.)
"You have reached the Superman rescue hotline. Please stay on the line and Superman will be right with you. You are number 40 in the queue."
(2 minutes of generic hold music.)
"You have reached the Superman rescue hotline. Please stay on the line and Superman will be right with you. You are number 40 in the queue."
"Oh no."
(2 minutes of generic hold music.)
"You have reached the Superman rescue hotline. Due to high call volume and complicated rescues ahead of you, your wait time will be longer than normal. Please stay on the line and Superman will be right with you. You are number 40 in the queue."
(Man starts slipping. Clearly he's doomed.)
"This would never have happened if I had called Aquaman. He's never busy."
(Man falls.)
Of course, there's a *reason* Aquaman is never busy. In most land-based, fishless emergencies, he's not much more useful than the average guy on the street. Now, if he could actually *control* water, and not just *breathe* it, that might be different . . .
ReplyDeleteI wonder how it would work to give Aquaman a Sharknado to work with?
ReplyDeleteAquaman: Have no fear, citizen! I will summon the power of the Sharknado to save you!
ReplyDeleteTrapped man: No, really, that's not necessary! I've got this thing, I really do!