News Flash: Drunks Like It When You Give Them Liquor

Dig this bit of non-news:

ISTANBUL—Finance leaders from the world’s largest economies endorsed on Tuesday aggressive stimulus measures taken by many of their central banks recently as vital responses necessary to boost a weak global economy.

Drunks outside of the Night Owl endorsed Dollar Shot Night at the bar.

“Current economic conditions require accommodative monetary policies in some countries,” the G-20 said in an official statement. “We welcome that central banks take appropriate monetary policy action.”

"We've been panhandling all day and didn't come up with more than $15 each. We need a more accomodative policy at the Nigh Owl."

“There’s not enough demand in the United States to drive the whole global recovery,” said a senior U.S. Treasury official. Governments need “to use the levers that are available to create sustainable growth.”

"We tried working at that day labor place, but it's just not a fit for us. We need lower-cost booze for a little while so we can figure out what to do next."

Luckily for us, the finance leaders are looking for "sustainable growth" and not just a pile of printed money to hand out so they can go back to their government meetings and talk about what big shots they are.