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Saturday, April 20, 2013

I Am Filled With Righteous Anger

I'm batching* it this weekend. My wife is working a women's retreat, our oldest son is at Coachella and our daughter is off doing other things. That means I can play my music loud, watch lots and lots and lots of English Premier League soccer and cook smelly food that only appeals to me.

More about the culinary self-gratification later. For now, I have a Crime Against Humanity to report.

I can't find the tweezers.

Were they stolen? Are they hidden in someone's room? Did one of my flown birds take this precious, critical tool with them? Who knows? Who cares? The important thing is that I need them and I can't find them. That alone is worthy of a towering rage.

I just wish someone was here to feel my wrath.

More precious than carbuncles, whatever carbuncles are.
* - I'm a bachelor this weekend. I'm baching it? No, that sounds like a classical composer. It's pronounced batching, so that's the way it must be spelled even though bachelor lacks the t.

3 comments:

  1. "Bachelor" obviously has an invisible "T" in it. We pronounce it, we just can't see it. This is one of the words that I have to think about to keep from misspelling it, I always try to spell it with a "T".

    As for the tweezers: you obviously need a Leatherman Style PS in your pocket. Not only is it small enough to clip to a keychain, and equipped with a number of small-yet-useful tools (like tweezers!), but you never have to be without it, because it *passes TSA restrictions, so you can actually take it with you when you travel by plane!*

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  2. Go to a Kitchen Shop (they're usually in strip malls) and get a half-dozen of the incredibly ugly flower print tweezers.

    They work very well, but even my mom can't bring herself to pocket one!

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  3. Foxie, that's a brilliant idea!

    Tim, your entymology and etymology both astound me.

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