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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

This Thing Needs To Be Melted Down And Formed Into Little Statues Of Hitler


It's a serrated blade attachment from my Cuisanart food processor. It's the single most destructive and dangerous kitchen implement in our house, responsible for more pain and bloodshed than everything else combined. I can't use the thing without it leaping up at me or falling down on me or sidling over towards me to attack. Slicing, poking, impaling, sawing, you name it, this hideous monstrosity has done it.

Evil? Oh yes. It's evil.

The blade and a Hitler statue. The resemblance is uncanny.

3 comments:

  1. One piece of advice: if you ever drop it... DO NOT attempt to catch it.

    Trust me on this.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You fool! You only think you dropped it. It leapt out of your hand and tried to use the force of gravity to stab you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have one of those! I know exactly - EXACTLY what you mean!

    ReplyDelete