Two Wacky Explanations for the Greek Collapse

... and both come from the New York Times. Go figure.

First, we have Bobby Kaplan arguing that the reason Greece has melted down its credit cards is ... wait for it ... geography. No, really! It's geography. Apparently, Greeks are losers because they're next to other losers or the Northern Euros look down on them or something like that. The argument is such a bizarre "dog ate my homework," no, make that "aliens landed in my backyard and zapped my dog with a ray and then my dog did my homework" chain of reasoning that it's impossible to tell what Kaplan is trying to say. At least he winds up predictably. The Germans need to write more checks and hand them to the Greeks.

Telling the Times' dwindling readers things she should have reserved for the therapist's office, Philomila Tsoukala informs us that the real problem is her family. Err, not her family, really, but a family she heard about in the neighborhood. Really, she's just here to get help for a friend and there's nothing wrong with her at all. You see, most Greek businesses are family-owned and women can't get divorces easily and the kids work without pay. That's why the government has gone on a thirty year bender and hasn't shaved in three years and is laying in the gutter snoozing under a piece of cardboard that reads, "To hell with work, I need money for ouzo."

Philomila can be excused for her idiocy - she's an associate professor of law at Georgetown. One can hardly expect her to read up on the economic history of various successful societies that were built on family businesses. But the divorce thing is a problem. Nothing leads to financial success quite like pouring thousands into the pockets of divorce lawyers, dividing your assets in half and traumatizing your kids. That works every time.

In all seriousness, opinion pieces like these, printed in what many consider to be a serious newspaper, are further indicators of societal decline. The Greek problem is relatively simple. Their economy is based on two industries that overshoot global economic trends, shipping and tourism. When times are good, the Greeks are doing great. When times are bad, the Greeks get hammered. The way to deal with this is to save up a big pile of rainy day money when times are good so you can deal with the inevitable downturns. It's not that complicated. The Greeks, like the rest of us, overspent in the good times and have nothing in their pockets now that times are bad. The fact that seemingly educated people come up with hip and trendy explanations for Greece's problems is in itself something to worry about.

Bobby and Philomila aren't serious people. Yet. But they will be soon, whether they want to be or not.

Intellectuals like Bobby and Philomila are contributing to what is becoming a global bank run.