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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Solving Air Travel Safety and Health Care in One Fell Swoop

Bombs on planes! Not enough health care! Out-of-control health spending plans! X-ray machines at the airports! It's total chaos, I tell you. The Scratching Post's crack editorial staff is here to help.

Quite simply, I recommend that we combine airports and hospitals. Every passenger on every airplane should get a full physical before boarding. No more of this "put your laptop in the bin" nonsense, we're going for "please strip down and put on this gown that ties in the back." X-ray the passengers? Please. What if the x-rays reveal a stress fracture in your leg? Did you think the TSA rent-a-goons were going to diagnose that? Hardly.

So there you have it. The perfect combination of safety and health for all. For those who can't afford to fly, we taxpayers* would pay for every American to fly at least once a year.

Problems solved!

TSA Health Services recommends that you show up at the airport at least a month before your flight!

* - well, really, it's the Chinese and the Fed paying for it. Who are we kidding here?
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6 comments:

  1. Kevin6:54 AM

    Two of the most annoying facilities rolled into one. Not sure if that's good or bad.

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  2. Kelly the little black dog10:58 AM

    I love it! And actually its just the Chinese now. Don't they own a majority share of the US now?

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  3. K T Cat11:21 AM

    The Chinese have really slowed down their purchases of our debt. Pretty soon, I'm sure we'll hear about another Fed printing run and subsequent purchases of Treasuries.

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  4. Kelly the little black dog2:25 PM

    That brings up an interesting dilemma for the Chinese. Either the Chinese buy our debit, or we deflate our currency by printing more money, thereby reducing the value of their current investments in our economy. They are screwed either way. I wonder when they will decide to cut their losses?

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  5. K T Cat3:56 PM

    There's a big difference between the two problems. They're making a profit, we're not. If we devalue our currency, they may take a beating, but the fact that they have a positive cash flow will ameliorate the effects quite a bit. Plus once the devaluation is all over, they'll still have some cash to buy up US assets which will be fire-sale cheap.

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  6. Anonymous5:09 AM

    This is probably a better picture of a TSA checkpoint, even if it's a bit small.

    http://s.wsj.net/public/resources/images/NA-BD394_MAMMOG_C_20100111191028.jpg

    ReplyDelete