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Monday, April 13, 2009

Let's Make a Deal With Iran!

Roger Cohen, desperately clinging to an unwarranted job with the soon-to-be-bankrupt NYT, writes that Barack Obama has a chance to make a deal with Iran, unlike Darth Vader Cheney. First, he interviews Mohamed ElBaradei, the head of the International Atomic Energy Agency who has failed at restraining nuclear proliferation around the world.
Instead of building on Iran’s Afghan help in 2001, exploring an Iranian “grand bargain” offer in 2003, or backing 2005 European mediation that hinged on the U.S. agreeing to sale of a French nuclear power reactor, “We got Darth Vader and company saying Iran was in the axis of evil and we have to change this regime.”
Iran, vowing to coat Israel in a sea of liquid fire is reasonable while the US, bringing peace, democracy and freedom to Iraq is run by Darth Vader. And thank you, Mr. ElBaradei! Next, Roger launched into a little historical analogy that seems to indicate he needs remedial education classes.
Imagine if Roosevelt in 1942 had said to Stalin, sorry, Joe, we don’t like your Communist ideology so we’re not going to accept your help in crushing the Nazis. I know you’re powerful, but we don’t deal with evil.

That’s a rough equivalent on the stupidity scale of what Bush achieved by consigning Iran’s theocracy to the axis of evil and failing to probe how the country might have helped in two wars and the wider Middle East when the conciliatory Mohammad Khatami was president.
Err, for that analogy to work, Roger, wouldn't Iran actually need to be fighting on our side? You know, like not sending commando teams and weapons into Iraq to kill Americans? I don't know, a nation ruled by a tyrannical, apocalyptic cult might not be the best one suited for joining the nuclear club. Personally, I wouldn't want such a neighbor of mine even owning a slingshot. I don't think we'd have a lot to gain by joining with them in anything. What would a bargain with Iran look like? Something like this, probably.

Hey, they only nuked Tel Aviv! We managed to negotiate with them until they decided not to obliterate Haifa. Until next year.

3 comments:

  1. I can think of one "deal" with Iran that would probably work. It would be the same "deal" we had with the USSR:

    "OK, go ahead and make nukes, if that's what you really want. But, the day that you actually use one on somebody else, or give one to somebody who then uses it, we will use our nukes to erase you."

    And as far as the Iranians using nukes on Israel, I am reasonably confident that the Israelis can look after themselves in this respect.

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  2. Secular Apostate12:13 PM

    The Israelis most assuredly can look after themselves, in the narrow sense of Mutually Assured Destruction. However, Israel is a small enough country that, unlike the US, if they get hit with one nuke, they're basically gone. As is some of the most significant archeological real estate on the planet. Think of the historical wealth of the Bamiyan Buddha site, double it, cube it, then calculate the factorial.

    And, of course, the Saudis will need a few, and the Yemenis, and the Turks, and the Kuwaitis... That's how MAD works, right?

    The Pakis are already squared away, though. I feel much better, knowing they're there.

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  3. Cohen is a tool.

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