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Tuesday, October 02, 2007

I am an Evil Father

...I secretly feed my children fresh vegetables...without them even knowing!

Last night, I made homemade spaghetti sauce. My daughter had soccer practice early and my son had hitting lessons late and I was stuck with shuttling and cooking and homework checking and all the rest. I fell back upon an old standby, my spaghetti. My kids like vegetables, but with very few exceptions, they don't like the same ones. One will eat olives, the other won't, one will eat tomatoes, the other won't, and so on. I put one over on both of them.

I took fresh vegetables and blended them until they were unrecognizable and put them, raw, vitamin-filled juice and all, into the sauce.

MUUUHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yes, there were fresh mushrooms in the sauce! No child alive likes mushrooms! My wickedness knows no limits!

The fools! They ate it, enjoyed it and never knew what was in it! Now they shall wax strong and joyful and there's nothing anyone can do about it!

My creation is nearly finished! All I need to do now is add...the onions!

Call child protective services if you wish, but you'll never catch me. I've congealed the evidence and it's beyond the ability of any CSI team to find. Despair in the thought that I shall strike again and again and again and there's nothing that you or anyone else can do to stop me!

Update: For more parental villainy, stop by this week's Carnival of Family Life.

10 comments:

  1. So I take it the kids don't read your blog?

    By the way, nice picture of high school chemistry class. ;)

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  2. Hehe, I may have to use that.

    When I was little, I couldn't STAND the way that mushrooms were. Now I think that may have been the texture-- I adore the things these days.

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  3. Anonymous3:23 PM

    oh ya! I love a good 'shroom. Tasty, tasty!

    I like to slice 'em and saute in a little EVOO with some salt, pepper, and a hint of garlic.

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  4. You are the MAN! One of my kid's loves brocolli and peas, the other loves peas and carrots. Weirdos. I love all vegetables - because they have food in them. MMmmmmmmm.... food.....

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  5. Anonymous4:22 PM

    Awesome! Gonna try this *tonight*!!
    (here from COFL)

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  6. Love the pictures - very mad scientist/Halloween. Good strategy. Unfortunately, our son is a supertaster, I think. We haven't figured out how to fool him yet.

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  7. Your evil genius knows no bounds.

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  8. Now you just need a good mortar and pestle to grind things down.

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  9. Anonymous9:29 PM

    I use to do this to my husband with meatloaf. My meatloaf rarely had meat in it.

    I'm going to be the total nerd here and remind you mushrooms aren't vegetables their fungi.

    One trick we use is tell are son that rice cakes are treats. He gets so excited if he gets to have a rice cake.

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