Finally, a Meaningful Presidential Poll

Driving in to work this morning, I heard Laura Ingraham talking about a Today Show poll asking, "Which presidential candidate would you like to drive cross country with, Hillary Clinton or Rudy Giulliani?"

What a stupid question. The answer, of course, is Hillary. You wait until she has to make a rest stop and while she's in the ladies' room (assuming that's the one she decides to use) you make a cell phone call to a friend. When you get out into Death Valley, you pull over and abandon the car with the harpy still in it and hook up with your friend who is waiting there for you, taking the keys to your car. By the time Madam Ratchet Jaw stops fogging up the windows with her endless, idiotic blather and finds that you have left the car, you'll be long gone.

After that, the question the Today Show would ask would be, "Would you pick up Hillary Clinton if she was hitch hiking?" to which the answer would be a resounding "No!"

In any case, the whole poll was a useless waste of time. I would like to offer a much more intellectually substantial one for each of the parties.

Democrats: Which presidential candidate would you like to see slathered in chum and fed to a walrus?

There are two Americas. One with hungry walri and one without. Which one do you live in?
Republicans: Which presidential candidate would you like to see shoved, face-first, into a beehive?

I'm sure the bees want to hear your position on corporate taxation.
Place your votes in the comments.